All is Calm

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" rowspan="2" width=120 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="01078642egerdp.jpg"> <bR> </td> <td valign="top" height=428 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="00f64643.jpg"> <div> <B>All is Calm</B></div> <div>  <A NAME="all_is_calm"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A></div> <div> His world was shaken, off balance, unsettled.  Jack stood staring into the flames as they crackled merrily in the fireplace.  At least he'd finally stopped shaking.  It's not that it was cold in his house - despite the blizzard happening outside; but he was cold in his soul.  He closed his eyes and pictured the scene once more as it played in his head.  Daniel getting ready to shoot out the window; getting ready to sacrifice himself for a planet full of people that didn't deserve to lick his boots.  He felt his gut clench as he remembered the moment when the explosion started . . . and Thor had beamed their asses up to the ship just in the nick of time.</div> <bR> <div> Kelowna didn't exist anymore.  There had been a secondary explosion from somewhere beneath the surface of the planet and the entire continent had gone up like a Roman candle.  But one more time, the universe had stepped in and averted disaster for him and his team.  Jack felt the trembling start again and he took another long drink from the whiskey bottle he was holding.  God, he was so cold.</div> <bR> <div> Once they'd gotten back to the SGC, he and Daniel had finally had it out.  Their arguments were already legendary, but this was different.  This had earned him a reprimand from General Hammond.  The next time Jack reported to the base, he learned that Daniel had asked for, and received, a leave of absence.  That was about three months ago.  Today the letter had come.  From Cairo.  From Daniel.</div> <bR> <div> <I>Jack</I>,</div> <bR> <div> <I>I hope this letter finds you well.  I've been doing some thinking while I've been here - trying to come up with some answers to some pretty tough questions.  I haven't made much progress.  In a perfect world, this letter will reach you before I do . . . but considering the current world situation, you may not get this until well after I return.  Be that as it may, I'm coming home.  I should be there about two weeks before Christmas.  When I get back, you and I need to sit down and talk.  My future with the SGC will depend on what sort of mutual understanding we can come to.</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>I certainly don't mean to be melodramatic, but you and I both know we can't continue on in the field the way we have been during the last year.  Were it not for someone's impeccable timing, we'd both be dead right now - and not because of circumstances, but because the rift between us is putting others in danger while we're in the field.  We either get this fixed, or I leave.  It's really as simple as that.</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>I hope that when I get home you'll be prepared to discuss this . . . calmly and maturely.  I won't have a repeat of what happened on base after our return.  I deserve - and demand - to be treated with far more respect than you've shown me over the last year.</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>I need you to put your attitude, your pride, and your arrogance aside and deal with me as an equal.  If you can't do that, then my choice is already made for me and there won't be any point in trying to discuss things.</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>For what it's worth, I don't </I><I><U>want</U></I><I> to leave the SGC, but I will if we can't come to some sort of agreement.</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>Daniel</I></div> <bR> <div> He didn't know how many times he'd read that letter in the past two weeks, but he knew every word by heart.  He looked at his watch.  Daniel would be back in Colorado in less than twelve hours.</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> Jack drank his second cup of coffee standing and looking out the back slider onto the white yard beyond.  They'd gotten a hell of a lot of snow the night before and now everything looked like it was covered in thick, heavy whipped cream.  There was a break in the storm and then there would be more snow that night.  Daniel's plane should have landed by now.  He'd called the airport to check on the arrivals and learned that it was scheduled to be on time.  General Hammond had let him know that transportation from Denver had already been arranged and he was in no way, shape or form, to have any contact with the returning Doctor Daniel Jackson until they saw one another on base.</div> <bR> <div> Jack sighed and shook his head.  It was a damned sorry state of affairs.</div> <bR> <div> Taking one last sip of coffee, he put the dirty mug in the dishwasher, turned off the coffee maker and prepared to head to the mountain.  Daniel's words from the letter rattled around in his brain like a broken record.  <I>Your attitude, your pride, and your arrogance.</I>  Jack remembered the single tear that had slipped down Daniel's face as he'd kneeled over the 'dead' Reece.  <I>You stupid sonofabitch.</I>  Jack felt his throat tighten.  He'd let everything go so terribly, terribly wrong that he didn't know if he could fix it.</div> <bR> <div> As he pulled on his winter coat, he thought of Carter.  All expectant blue eyes and hopeful smiles.  Is that what he really wanted?  Or was that just an infatuation prompted by the promise of 'forbidden fruit'?  He didn't know anymore.  Before he left, he cast one final glance at the picture of Sara sitting on the small dividing wall above the sofa.</div> <bR> <div> "How the hell do I fix this one?" he asked the smiling face.  "She's just not you, ya know?  She's just not you."</div> <bR> <div> Willing his feet to get moving, he walked out the door.</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> Jack stood quietly in front of General Hammond's door.  He'd been 'summoned.'  His gut was already in knots over Daniel being back . . . having to deal with Hammond in full-on General mode was not what he wanted to face.  His knuckles beat quickly on the door.</div> <bR> <div> "Come."</div> <bR> <div> Jack stepped inside.  "You wanted to see me, sir?"</div> <bR> <div> "Come in and sit down, Colonel," Hammond said tersely.</div> <bR> <div> Jack pushed all the way into the room and stopped to compose himself as he saw the determined face of Daniel looking up at him.</div> <bR> <div> "Hello, Jack."</div> <bR> <div> "Daniel," he replied.  "Welcome back."</div> <bR> <div> "Thank you."</div> <bR> <div> Jack sat down in the vacant chair beside Daniel and looked across the desk at his commander.  He winced inwardly.  That was not a happy man.</div> <bR> <div> "I want both of you to listen to me very carefully," Hammond said, his lips pulled down into a frown.  "You've had enough time to figure out what the problem is between the two of you.  I'm giving you both three days to fix whatever it is.  If, at the end of that time, you haven't put this conflict well behind you - you're both out on your asses.  Do I make myself clear?"</div> <bR> <div> "Yes, sir."  "Yes, General."</div> <bR> <div> "Now get the hell out of here," Hammond snarled.  "If either one of you try and come back before Monday, I'll have you shot."</div> <bR> <div> The two men stood at the same time, gave each other a look then left the room without another word.</div> <bR> <div> "Yours or mine?" Jack asked when they were in the hall.</div> <bR> <div> "Mine," Daniel said simply.  "Give me an hour or so.  I'd like to get some errands run first, get some food in the place."</div> <bR> <div> "Sure," Jack agreed.</div> <bR> <div> Daniel nodded then walked away, hands in his pockets, head down.  Jack watched him leave, fought back to urge to call out for him to wait up and he'd go with him.  It was obvious Daniel wasn't ready for Jack's company quite yet.  He still looked beat from the flight back from Egypt and he probably hadn't gotten much sleep.  That'd make two of them.</div> <bR> <div> With a feeling of impending doom, Jack walked back to the locker room to change and head back home.</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> Daniel had just finished putting away the last of the groceries when he heard the knock on the door.  Wiping his hands on his shirt, he walked to the door and pulled it open.  Jack waited patiently outside.  "Come on in."</div> <bR> <div> "Thanks."  Jack stepped in and handed Daniel the case of beer he was holding.  "We're probably going to need this."</div> <bR> <div> "I'm not getting drunk before talking to you," Daniel said, taking the case and walking back into the kitchen.  "Neither are you."</div> <bR> <div> Jack was about to make a retort when the words drummed through his brain one more time.</div> <bR> <div> <I>Your pride, your attitude, and your arrogance.</I></div> <bR> <div> "Can I ask you something?" Jack asked as he watched Daniel begin to put the beer into the refrigerator.</div> <bR> <div> "What's that?"  Daniel didn't look up or stop what he was doing.</div> <bR> <div> "Do you really even want to work this out?"</div> <bR> <div> "That depends on you," Daniel said simply.  "If I'm going to be beating my head against the wall every time I try and talk to you on a mission or in a briefing, then no, I don't..."</div> <bR> <div> "So then this is all my fault.  Again."</div> <bR> <div> Daniel slammed the fridge shut and looked at Jack.  "Tell me the truth.  Do you have any use for me at all on your team?  Or am I just a handy translation service and human target?"</div> <bR> <div> "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Jack demanded.</div> <bR> <div> "It means, Jack, that I haven't contributed anything to the program in about a year and a half.  It means that the only reason I'm kept around, in general, is to make nice with the natives so we can inform them in their own language that we're damn well going to be taking what we want anyway and to hell with them and their culture."</div> <bR> <div> "That's a bunch of bullshit and you know it."</div> <bR> <div> "Is it?  Name the last time I did anything else!"  Daniel had moved down into his living room and was standing mere inches from Jack.  "Well?"</div> <bR> <div> "You are a valuable member of a first contact field unit . . ."</div> <bR> <div> "That is <I>such</I> a bunch of shit!" Daniel scoffed.  He shook his head and went to stand in front of the windows leading out to the patio.  "I'm nothing more than your one trick pony.  Any time you want input in the field on 'first contact' situations, it doesn't come from me, it comes from Sam."</div> <bR> <div> "She's militarily trained to . . ."</div> <bR> <div> "She's your goddamned lap dog!" Daniel shouted, his anger taking full flight.  "Yessir, nosir, three bags full, Jack-<I>sir</I>."</div> <bR> <div> "What the hell is wrong with you?" Jack demanded, striding over and putting himself directly into Daniel's personal space.  "Carter and I have a professional relationship. . ."</div> <bR> <div> "Right, when the mooning and pining doesn't get in the way . . ."</div> <bR> <div> "What, are you <I>jealous</I>, Daniel?  Is that what this is?"</div> <bR> <div> "Yes!" Daniel shouted.  "You stupid shit, what the hell do you think this is all about?"</div> <bR> <div> Both men faced each other, breathing hard until Jack's brain caught up to the conversation.  "What?"</div> <bR> <div> "Oh please," Daniel snorted derisively, "don't act dumb around me.  It may work with other people, but give me a little credit."</div> <bR> <div> "What are you saying to me here, Daniel?"  Jack watched as Daniel walked slowly around the room.</div> <bR> <div> "I'm saying that there are feelings that neither one of us expected or wanted.  And being two heterosexual men, we certainly haven't handled them very well."</div> <bR> <div> "Are you fucking nuts?" Jack demanded.</div> <bR> <div> "I thought I was," Daniel said, his voice finally becoming normal sounding to his own ears once more.  "But three months in a desert with the sun beating down on you and nothing but flies and camels for company gives you some perspective, you know?"</div> <bR> <div> "Sounds like it made things worse."  Jack felt as though someone had just summarily dumped him on his ass and kicked him in the head while he was down.  This was nowhere close to the subject matter he thought they'd be covering and he was slightly more than alarmed by it all.</div> <bR> <div> The sad look in Daniel's eyes conveyed more than words.  "Believe me when I tell you I don't want these feelings, but they're real and there's not a damned thing I can do about them.  And I think, if you're very honest with yourself, you'll see that you have the same ones."</div> <bR> <div> "I don't think so," Jack sneered.</div> <bR> <div> "Jack," Daniel said, his voice turning flinty and hard, "if you can come up with another explanation, I would love to hear it.  Really.  I would.  Tell me why, exactly, you started treating me like I was some sort of clueless idiot . . . tell me why my opinion held no weight and no merit . . . tell me why and I'll listen.  With an open mind."  Daniel looked at him and waited.  And waited.  And waited some more.  "Was it because I suddenly became completely incompetent?  Or, was it because I just up and decided to be completely rebellious just for the shits and giggles of it all?"</div> <bR> <div> Jack tried to argue, tried to tell him that it was because of his bullheaded idealism and his seemingly pathological need to contradict every order  . . . but the flash of memory of the bomb exploding and his last thought being that he was about to lose Daniel <I>one more time</I> kept his mouth shut.  "I'm not in love with you," was all he managed to rasp out.</div> <bR> <div> "Then what made you push me away so hard it damn near killed us all . . . and nearly wiped out an entire planet in the process?"</div> <bR> <div> "You're out of your mind, you know that?"  Jack walked quickly to the door.  "If this is the answer you came up with, then I don't want you back on the team."</div> <bR> <div> "No," Daniel said quietly, "I didn't think you would."</div> <bR> <div> "I'll call Hammond in the morning and tell him you're gone."  Jack yanked his coat on angrily.</div> <bR> <div> "There's no need," Daniel said with a mirthless smile.  "My resignation is already sitting on his desk."</div> <bR> <div> "Good.  Save us all some time then," Jack said as he yanked open the door.</div> <bR> <div> "I knew you'd react like this," Daniel said.</div> <bR> <div> "Then you'll also know that I don't want to hear from you again," Jack said.  "Or do I need to spell that out for you?"</div> <bR> <div> "No, I got that," Daniel said.  "I expected nothing less from you."</div> <bR> <div> "You are one fucked up sonofabitch," Jack growled as he slammed the door behind him.</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> Sam hurried through the house to the front door.  It was early evening and she'd just gotten home and changed before the incessant knocking started.  When she opened the door, she saw Jack leaning casually against the frame.</div> <bR> <div> "Sir?"  She looked outside.  "Is everything okay?"</div> <bR> <div> "Sure.  Just stopped by for a visit.  That okay?"</div> <bR> <div> "Yeah," she said suspiciously.  "Is Teal'c with you?"</div> <bR> <div> "No," Jack said as he stood up straight.  "What, I can't come see you without a chaperone?"</div> <bR> <div> "No, I mean, yes.  I mean . . ." she smiled and laughed.  "Come on in."</div> <bR> <div> "Thanks," Jack smiled back.  "It was getting kind of cold out there."</div> <bR> <div> "Have you eaten?  I was just going to make something for dinner."</div> <bR> <div> "Sounds good.  How about spaghetti?"</div> <bR> <div> "Okay," Sam said.  She took Jack's coat and hung it carefully in the closet.  "Can I get you something to drink?"</div> <bR> <div> "Got a beer?  I could use one of those."</div> <bR> <div> "Coming right up.  Why don't you have a seat, make yourself comfortable?"  Sam went to the kitchen and pulled a beer from the fridge and handed it to Jack who had sprawled into a chair at the kitchen counter.  "Right.  Guess I better start on the sauce."</div> <bR> <div> "Relax, Sam," Jack grinned.  "It's just a little dinner."</div> <bR> <div> Sam paused in getting the items she needed from under the counter.  "Ye-ah, um . . . don't take this wrong . . . but . . . what exactly are you doing here, sir?"</div> <bR> <div> "We're off the clock, could you lose the 'sir?'" Jack asked as he took a long pull from the bottle.</div> <bR> <div> "Oh-kay.  Jack . . . what are you doing here?"</div> <bR> <div> "I'm tired of dancing around this . . . thing . . ."</div> <bR> <div> "Thing?"</div> <bR> <div> "Yeah, you know.  Me.  You."</div> <bR> <div> Sam felt her face flush.  "I'm not sure what you mean."</div> <bR> <div> Jack reached her in two steps, backing her against the kitchen sink.  "After all this time, you're not actually going to tell me this isn't what you've wanted all along.  I may be a little thick, but I can tell when a woman's interested."</div> <bR> <div> "That may be, but there's more to consider than just . . . us."</div> <bR> <div> "Well <I>us</I> is what I'd like to consider right now," Jack said, running his hand down the side of Sam's face.</div> <bR> <div> "I don't know if this is such a good <I>mmmphhhh.</I>"  Sam's sentence was lost as Jack's lips locked on hers.  For a moment everything within her crowed for joy that after all the years and all the waiting, her personal fantasy was about to come true.  Reality crowded in about ten seconds later as she contemplated trying to give a briefing in front of a man who'd seen her naked and panting for more.  With one hand on flat against Jack's chest, she pushed him away.  "We can't."</div> <bR> <div> "Sure we can," Jack grinned.  "The whole base thinks we're going at it like a couple of sweaty minks anyway."</div> <bR> <div> "This isn't right," Sam said, stepping away from Jack.  "I don't know what it is, but something here's not adding up.  I'll admit that we've both got some feelings for each other, but I don't think they come close to being strong enough to risk our careers over, do you?"</div> <bR> <div> "I'm not talking about forever here, Carter," Jack snapped, his ire making him speak before he considered his words.  He saw Sam's face go blank then flush with anger.  "That's not . . . that didn't come out the way I mean it."</div> <bR> <div> "Oh, yes it did," Sam said evenly.  "I think you'd better go, sir."</div> <bR> <div> "Sam . . ."</div> <bR> <div> "Just . . . please.  Go home.  Let's forget this ever happened, okay?"</div> <bR> <div> "I didn't mean it," Jack tried again.</div> <bR> <div> "But I did," Sam said flatly.  "Go home, sir."</div> <bR> <div> Jack sighed, walked to the closet, grabbed his coat and headed out into the night.</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> Jack watched the emotions play over Sara's face as she opened the door onto the frigid night.</div> <bR> <div> "Jack?"</div> <bR> <div> "Surprise."</div> <bR> <div> "What the hell are you doing here?  It's two thirty in the morning."</div> <bR> <div> "Yeah, I'm sorry about that.  Mind if I come in?"</div> <bR> <div> "Are you okay?  Are you hurt?  Did something happen?" Sara asked as Jack stepped into the entry way.</div> <bR> <div> "I just . . . needed to see you."</div> <bR> <div> "Go sit in the kitchen.  I'll put some coffee on."  Sara disappeared down the hallway and Jack heard a door gently close.  "The last thing I need is my father waking up at this hour.  He'd be unbearable all day."</div> <bR> <div> Jack watched as Sara moved around the kitchen and a wave of painful nostalgia washed through him.  How many times had she gotten up at this hour to see him off for a mission?  In that same ratty blue robe and fluffy pink slippers.</div> <bR> <div> "Jack?"  Sara leaned across the kitchen and took his hand.  "What is it?"</div> <bR> <div> Jack opened his mouth to explain but no words came out.  He just looked into the understanding hazel eyes across from him and let out a heavy sigh.</div> <bR> <div> "Are you in trouble?  Has something happened?"</div> <bR> <div> The smell of brewing coffee filled the room and for the first time in years Jack felt comfortable and safe.  "Do you still love me, Snug?"</div> <bR> <div> Sara physically started at the use of Jack's pet name for her.  "Of course I do.  You know that.  Jack, you're starting to scare me.  Please, tell me what's wrong."</div> <bR> <div> "How about we give things another try?" Jack asked quietly.  "I miss ya so much."</div> <bR> <div> Sara pulled her hand away and looked down in disbelief at her ex-husband.  "Don't do this to me," she hissed.</div> <bR> <div> "Do what?" Jack asked plaintively.  "Isn't this what you've wanted?"</div> <bR> <div> "What I want is my husband back . . . not some knee-jerk reaction to something that's gone wrong in your life."  Sara moved back to the counter and pulled down two mugs as she waited for the coffee to stop dripping.</div> <bR> <div> Jack scrubbed his hands over his face and tried to think clearly.  He could see the tension across Sara's shoulders, the rigid set to her back.  He knew it had been a mistake to come here.</div> <bR> <div> Sara set down the cup of coffee then took a seat opposite Jack.  "What's this all about?"</div> <div> Jack took a sip from his mug and winced.  He'd forgotten just how bad Sara was at making coffee.  He'd gotten used to Daniel's over the years.  Coffee spilled over the side of the cup as Jack slammed it down on the table.</div> <bR> <div> "Jack?"</div> <bR> <div> Jack closed his eyes and slumped in his chair.  "How well do you know me, Sara?  I mean, how well do you <I>really</I> know me?"</div> <bR> <div> "Better than just about anyone."  Sara scooted a little closer.  "You can tell me."</div> <bR> <div> "What if I told you that over the past few years I've come to have . . . feelings . . . for someone."  Jack kept his eyes riveted to a small nick in the top of the table.  He rubbed it with his thumb.</div> <bR> <div> "Someone . . . you shouldn't?" Sara asked.</div> <bR> <div> Jack nodded.</div> <bR> <div> "Someone under your command?"</div> <bR> <div> Jack nodded again.  After all these years, and all the things he'd seen, he still couldn't voice what he was feeling and he hated that he was making Sara say it for him.</div> <bR> <div> "A member of your team?  The ones who came with you to the hospital that night?"</div> <bR> <div> Jack's nod was nearly imperceptible.  "Daniel," he whispered.</div> <bR> <div> Sara's eyes went large and round.  "A . . . a <I>man</I>?"</div> <bR> <div> Jack swallowed back the emotion that was threatening to overwhelm him.  Leaning forward, he put his forehead into his ex-wife's shoulder and breathed, "Help me, Snug.  I don't know what to do."</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> Four forty-five in the morning was quiet, peaceful.  Road crews were busy digging out after the storm before the next wave hit.  Jack heard and felt his tires crunch along in the snow, the low rumble of the four-wheel drive vibrating up through the seat.  He looked around him for the first time since he'd left Sara's and realized he was on Daniel's side of town, and if he continued on his course, he'd end up in front of the man's apartment complex.  He made a left and headed toward a small café he knew about where he could get some coffee and maybe a little something to eat.</div> <bR> <div> Bright neon signs greeted him as he pulled into the freshly plowed parking lot of the eating establishment.  Tiredly he pulled himself from the cab of the truck and made his way through the snow flurries to the entrance of the restaurant.  He walked in and smelled the warm smells of fresh cooked bacon, ham, eggs and toast, overlaid with the thick, hearty, dark, hot coffee.</div> <bR> <div> "Mornin' darlin'," came a cheery voice from behind the counter.  "Why don't you come sit up here and get something hot to drink."  The older lady patted the counter and grabbed a large white cup, filling it immediately with coffee.</div> <bR> <div> "Thanks," Jack said as he eased onto the vinyl covered stool.  Taking the cup in his hands, he smelled the brew before taking a long, appreciative sip.  <I>Now this is coffee Daniel would enjoy</I>.  He closed his eyes and set the mug down.</div> <bR> <div> "Let's get you some breakfast," came the woman's voice.  "How about some pancakes, couple eggs, maybe some crispy bacon?"</div> <bR> <div> "Sure," Jack said.</div> <bR> <div> "Joe, get me a number one goin'," the woman yelled into the kitchen.</div> <bR> <div> "You got it, Dot," came the answer.</div> <bR> <div> "Looks like you've had a pretty rough go of it, mister," she said.  "You okay?"</div> <bR> <div> "Yeah," Jack said with a wan smile.</div> <bR> <div> "Don't you lie to old Dottie Malone," chastised the woman.  "I can see heartbreak a mile away.  Been through it enough times myself."</div> <bR> <div> "Aren't you serving the wrong drinks for that?" Jack asked as he sipped at his coffee.</div> <bR> <div> "Pfffffft.  I've owned six bars in my time.  I know all the symptoms.  How long's it been since you slept?"</div> <bR> <div> Jack couldn't help but smile a little.  "Couple days.  Nothing I haven't done many times before."</div> <bR> <div> "Well, it's different when it's about your heart, ya know?"  Dottie wiped her hands on a towel then leaned on the counter, her ample bosom cradled on her forearms.  "What happened?"</div> <bR> <div> "And this is your business . . . how?" Jack asked after another drink of coffee.  He watched as Dottie automatically filled his cup then resumed her position.  He looked up into kind, brown eyes that seemed to be staring right through him.  He winced and turned away.</div> <bR> <div> "So who is this . . . young man?" Dottie asked quietly.</div> <bR> <div> Jack's eyes snapped up in surprise.  "Who said . . ."</div> <bR> <div> "You didn't have to say a word, hun.  It's all right there on your face."  Dottie turned toward the kitchen.  "Joe, bring that on out to nineteen when it's ready."</div> <bR> <div> The man behind the grill waved his metal spatula and continued cooking.</div> <bR> <div> "Come on, let's go get comfortable," the woman said, pointing to a booth in the corner by the window.  Without checking to see if Jack was behind her, she strolled over to the booth and slid into one of the high back seats.  "I can always shout my questions across the diner," she said calmly.</div> <bR> <div> Shaking his head, Jack reluctantly slid into the seat across from her.  "You always take this sort of interest in your customers?"</div> <bR> <div> "Only the ones I know will listen," said Dottie.</div> <bR> <div> "I haven't listened to anyone else, why should I start with you?"</div> <bR> <div> "Because I recognize the look in your eyes.  You're straight.  And now you have feelings, some pretty deep ones unless I miss my guess, for another man.  Running scared with nowhere to go."</div> <bR> <div> Jack had nothing to say to that.  The dark, steaming coffee didn't seem to be offering any answers, either.</div> <bR> <div> "Look honey, let me tell you a little secret about me.  Those six bars I've owned?  Gay bars.  All of them.  From Seattle to Denver.  Night after night I'd see men come in and just sit for hours.  They'd swear left, right and center they were straight, then go home with someone who was just going to end up making them more miserable than they already were.  But every now and then, someone like you would turn up.  Kinda defeated, looking like they just lost their best friend."</div> <bR> <div> Jack winced.</div> <bR> <div> "We'd talk, and they'd tell me how this just sorta happened, real slow, crept up on them out of nowhere.  They were scared and confused and didn't know what the hell to do."</div> <bR> <div> "So what would you tell them?"</div> <bR> <div> Joe walked over at that moment and set down a plate overflowing with fresh, hot food.  Jack's stomach growled in response.  Dottie waited until Joe was out of earshot before continuing on.</div> <bR> <div> "I told them to believe in love."</div> <bR> <div> Jack looked up.  "You don't understand."</div> <bR> <div> "Oh, I don't?  Let me try this out . . . it's your job, your position.  Things like this aren't allowed.  It could cost you everything."  Dottie smiled knowingly.  "I've heard it all, hun, believe me."  She watched for a few minutes as Jack bit hungrily into his food.  "Love's like water," she said simply.  "Water seeks its own level.  Same thing with feelings.  Dam them up and they break loose and cause more damage than if they'd just been able to run free in the first place.  Love . . . real love, doesn't care about silly things like class, or social standing . . . or gender.  Love can change the world.  Love can save it."</div> <bR> <div> The hairs on the back of Jack's neck stood up.  "Where'd you say you were from?" he asked.</div> <bR> <div> "El Paso, originally."  Dottie stood up as she heard the door ring and a group of three men walk in.  "And now, I need to get back to work.  You don't worry about this meal, hun.  This one's on the house."  She walked off to serve her customers as they all greeted her by name.</div> <bR> <div> Jack finished his breakfast slowly, letting the woman's words sink into his sleep-deprived brain.  He knew he had to do something to fix the situation - he just didn't know what.  One thing was certain - Dottie's words had given him some food for thought.</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> Daniel was just on his way to the kitchen to make the first pot of coffee of the day when the knock came at his door.  He scowled, wondering who it could be that hour.  When he pulled the door open, he found a rumpled, unshaven, exhausted Jack O'Neill standing sullenly in the hallway.</div> <bR> <div> "I think we've pretty well said everything that needs saying, don't you?" Daniel asked coldly.</div> <bR> <div> "Just let me in for a minute, Daniel.  This won't take long."</div> <bR> <div> Daniel shook his head and walked away from the open door.  Jack took that as the only invitation he was going to get so he stepped inside.  He waited until Daniel came back into the living room with a mug of coffee.  He noticed that there had been none poured for him.</div> <bR> <div> "Say what you need to say then get out," Daniel stated, sitting down on the couch.  He didn't noticed until after he was seated that Jack was wearing the same clothes he'd been wearing the last time he was there . . . two days ago.</div> <bR> <div> Jack nodded.  "I've done a lot of thinking," Jack began, hands shoved deep in his pockets and eyes fixed on the floor at his feet.  "Realized you were right.  Like you always are."  He sighed and continued.  "The program can't lose you so I'll offer you a compromise.  You stay on SG-1 and I'll tell the General that I should concentrate my time on training the new recruits.  I'll step down as commander and head up the new training division we've been talking about starting.  My time in the field's about up anyway . . . knees, back . . . you know."  Jack shrugged.  "Reynolds or Pierce can take over command . . . Carter's good but she's not ready yet.  Maybe another couple years."  Jack finally raised his eyes.  "Point is, I'll do what I can to stay out of your way.  The universe needs you out there way more than it needs me.  The ones who need me are the ones who don't know how any of this . . ." Jack waved vaguely upwards, ". . . works.  They don't have a clue what they're getting into."</div> <bR> <div> "And what about us?" Daniel asked.</div> <bR> <div> "That's gonna take some time," Jack said honestly.</div> <bR> <div> "So, what are you saying?"</div> <bR> <div> "I'm saying I don't know," Jack said, the stress of the last few days evident in his voice and his red-rimmed eyes.  "I just know it's going to take some time."</div> <bR> <div> "Did you call Hammond?" Daniel asked.</div> <bR> <div> Jack shook his head.  "I'll call him when I get home, let him know what I proposed.  I'll tell him he has to talk to you for the final decision."</div> <bR> <div> "What if I don't agree?"</div> <bR> <div> "Then I still think Reynolds or Pierce will be a good replacement as CO of SG-1."</div> <bR> <div> "You're still stepping down?"</div> <bR> <div> "Yeah."</div> <bR> <div> Neither man spoke for some moments.  The silence became uncomfortable and Jack fished his keys from his pocket.  He stepped quietly to Daniel's door.</div> <bR> <div> "Jack?"</div> <bR> <div> Turning back, Jack looked at Daniel.</div> <bR> <div> "I'm sorry."</div> <bR> <div> A small smile, tired and weak flicked at the edges of Jack's lips.  "Me, too."</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> Jack came dragging through the gate, muddy and tired.  His arm hurt, his knees were killing him and his back was screaming for a rest.  He waved up to the control booth that he was the last one through and heard the wormhole shut down behind him.  Yanking his hat off his head, he scratched at the week old grime embedded there.</div> <bR> <div> Hammond waited for him at the bottom of the ramp.  "Colonel, welcome back.  How'd it go?"</div> <bR> <div> "Well, they didn't kill me, sir.  That's gotta count for something."</div> <bR> <div> Hammond chuckled understandingly.  "Anything I should know about?"</div> <bR> <div> "No, sir," Jack said tiredly, "nothing more unusual than trying to reign in ten raw, energetic recruits with good knees and far too much enthusiasm.  And the tablet I told you about."</div> <bR> <div> "Get a shower and then report to my office, then.  We've got a few things to go over before Christmas break."</div> <bR> <div> "Yes, sir," Jack said.  He turned and followed the last of the new recruits out the door.  His destination wasn't the showers or the infirmary.  Instead, he made his way to the elevator.  Hiking the pack a little higher onto his back, he slid his card through the reader, then pushed the level for Daniel's lab.  As he stepped onto the chosen floor, he felt his stomach tighten slightly.  This would be the first time he and Daniel had talked since they'd come back to the mountain.</div> <bR> <div> He shuffled into the office and looked around, seeing Daniel hunched over a pile of books.  "Hey."</div> <bR> <div> Daniel looked up and scowled when he saw Jack's appearance.  "Hey."</div> <bR> <div> Jack unclipped the pack from behind him and swung it onto a chair.  He rooted around until he produced a carefully wrapped parcel.  "Thought maybe you'd want to see this."</div> <bR> <div> Daniel took the package from Jack's grubby, dirt encrusted hands.  "What is it?"</div> <bR> <div> "It's the thing responsible for the large bruise on my left hip," Jack said as he slung the carry strap back over his shoulder.  "Found it on the planet.  Sorta stuck up in the mud.  I tripped over it."</div> <bR> <div> Daniel raised his eyes and unwrapped the heavy stone tablet.  His eyes went wide.  "Wow."</div> <bR> <div> "Yeah.  Thought you might like that.  Listen, I'm gonna grab a shower.  I think I've got things growing in my . . . "</div> <bR> <div> "Please, don't share," Daniel said quickly, holding up his hand.</div> <bR> <div> Jack smirked.  "If you wanted to request a dig site, it's only about half a click from the training camp.  I had the guys secure the area for you."</div> <bR> <div> "Thanks," Daniel said, a frown creasing his brow.</div> <bR> <div> Jack gave one more small nod and left quietly.</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> Jack looked up at the light tap on the open door to his office.  Daniel stood nervously in the doorway.</div> <bR> <div> "Daniel."</div> <bR> <div> "Yeah, uh . . . I just went to see General Hammond.  He's cleared an archeological team to head to the planet and start the dig."</div> <bR> <div> "And a good time was had by all," Jack said.</div> <bR> <div> "Um . . . apparently," Daniel continued, taking a few cautious steps into the office, "what you found was an ancient Furling site."</div> <bR> <div> "No shit?" Jack asked, surprise at the news.</div> <bR> <div> "Yeah, I recognized the writing as soon as I saw it.  We'll go, take a look around for a few days, see if we can find anything."</div> <bR> <div> "Good.  I'm glad that's all gonna work out, then."  Jack fiddled with the pen in his hand.  "So."</div> <bR> <div> "So.  I should . . . let you get back to work.  I know you've got things to do before we go on leave for the holidays."  Daniel backed toward the door.  "I'll see ya around."</div> <bR> <div> "Daniel?"</div> <bR> <div> "Yes?"  Daniel popped his head back through the door.</div> <bR> <div> "Look . . . um . . . you want to . . . go get a beer?  Or - somethin'?  After work?"</div> <bR> <div> "A beer?"</div> <bR> <div> "Yeah, you know . . . comes in kegs.  The good stuff comes in red and silver cans."</div> <bR> <div> Daniel rolled his eyes.  "You think that's such a good idea?"</div> <bR> <div> "No.  You wanna go anyway?"</div> <bR> <div> "Sure," Daniel finally relented.  "One beer."</div> <bR> <div> "I'll see you up top at seventeen thirty?"</div> <bR> <div> "Okay," Daniel agreed before leaving.</div> <bR> <div> Jack sat quietly staring after him, trying to make sense of the feelings swirling around in his gut.</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> Daniel grabbed one of the few remaining tables while Jack ordered their beers from the bar.  A girl whizzed by, depositing large bowls of peanuts and pretzels on the table before hurrying off.</div> <bR> <div> "Looks like everyone had the same idea as us," Daniel said as someone bumped into the back of his chair.</div> <bR> <div> Jack set the glasses of beer on the table and eased into his own seat.  "Most of these guys are from the base," Jack noted.  "They'll be working a skeleton crew for the next few weeks."</div> <bR> <div> "So how was the training site?" Daniel asked as he took a drink.</div> <bR> <div> "Oh you know . . . wet, soggy . . . wet."</div> <bR> <div> "Sam mentioned it rains a lot there."</div> <bR> <div> "No, in Seattle it rains a lot.  This place was like India during monsoon season."</div> <bR> <div> "Well that should be . . . pleasant," Daniel scowled.</div> <bR> <div> "Ah yes, two weeks of slogging in the mud for you."</div> <bR> <div> Conversation came to a halt as both men ran out of things to say.  Screwing up his courage, Jack took a deep breath and then blurted out his next question.  "I wanted to know if you'd like to come over for dinner on Christmas?"  He let out the rest of his breath a bit shakily.</div> <bR> <div> "Pardon me?" Daniel asked.</div> <bR> <div> When Jack looked across the table, Daniel could see that the fight had completely gone out of the man.  The last two weeks had been rough - unbearable at times - but Jack had kept himself away, even when he was at the base, and apparently some things within him had changed.</div> <bR> <div> "I . . . made a real mess of things last time we tried to 'talk.'  I'm not very proud of how I behaved.  I'd like a chance to do it again.  The right way this time."</div> <bR> <div> "Nothing's changed," Daniel said.</div> <bR> <div> "That's not specifically true," Jack said.  "Regardless, I'd like to sit down and talk about it."  He drained half his beer before continuing.  "At least give me the opportunity to apologize.  You deserve that much."</div> <bR> <div> Daniel could feel his resolve wavering.  He didn't want to make up completely with Jack.  This friction - the uncomfortableness - gave him the distance he needed to avoid his own issues with the situation.  Jack being reasonable was not something he'd banked on in the past few weeks.  The pain they'd inflicted on one another had given him the strength to go into the mountain every day and do his job.  Now Jack was threatening to take that away.</div> <bR> <div> "How about we don't and say we did?" Daniel asked.  He felt instantly guilty when he saw what little light there was in Jack's eyes go out.</div> <bR> <div> "Sure.  I understand."  Jack finished off his beer and stood up.  "You have a good holiday.  I'll see you after the new year."  He left quickly, winding easily through the crowds to the exit door.</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> Six hours later and Jack still wasn't answering his phone.  Daniel wondered if Jack had packed up and gone to the cabin.  He also knew that Jack had caller-ID on both his home phone and his cell.  He couldn't imagine Jack wanting to talk to him right now.  Were the situation reversed, he wouldn't either.</div> <bR> <div> Swearing under his breath, Daniel bundled into his winter gear and set out in search of his friend.  Like a punch in the guts, he realized that no matter what else, no matter what may or may not transpire between them, Jack was and always would be one of the closest friends he had.  He understood in a sudden moment of clarity that he wasn't willing to give that up.</div> <bR> <div> The first stop Daniel made was Jack's home.  He pursed his lips as he saw the pristine driveway, the perfectly unmarred blanket of snow telling him that Jack had not been home since he'd gotten back from the training mission.  It was starting to snow once again and Daniel shook his head in consternation.  Where in the hell could the man be?</div> <bR> <div> He did the only thing he knew to do - start a street by street search from Jack's house outward.  Nearly forty-five minutes later he found Jack's truck, parked in the deserted parking lot of a school playground.  The solitary figure sitting alone on the merry-go-round was none other than the intrepid Colonel.  Daniel parked his car and walked across the snowy grounds, finally coming to a stop in front of Jack O'Neill.  "Anyone tell you it's freezing out here?"</div> <bR> <div> "The snow sort of gave me a hint," Jack said, his words freezing on the air and trailing away in whisps of steam.</div> <bR> <div> "I've been trying to call."</div> <bR> <div> "I know."</div> <bR> <div> "You could at least have answered."</div> <bR> <div> "Didn't feel like it."  Jack looked up.  "What's on your mind?"</div> <bR> <div> Daniel sighed heavily, his breath obscuring his face for a moment.  "I was an ass," he said.</div> <bR> <div> "Guess that makes two of us."</div> <bR> <div> Daniel swiped a spot clean on the cold, metal deck of the carousel before sitting down.  "I'm not exactly an expert in these sort of things, but . . . do you think that this time around we could try <I>not</I> to destroy each other in our dive toward denial?"</div> <bR> <div> Jack turned and gave the man a long look.</div> <bR> <div> Daniel shrugged under the scrutiny.  "I'm just saying that neither one of us is exactly emotionally equipped to deal with this.  We're basically all each other has got to get through it."</div> <bR> <div> "Yeah, that makes me feel so much better."</div> <bR> <div> "What are you doing out here anyway?" Daniel asked.</div> <bR> <div> "I used to bring Charlie here.  They had barbecue grills and we'd bring some hot dogs and buns, have a little picnic.  Just me and him."</div> <bR> <div> Daniel was quiet for a few minutes, watching the snow fall around them.  "I'm not asking you to be anything that you're not."</div> <bR> <div> "Yes you are," Jack said stiffly.</div> <bR> <div> "No . . ."</div> <bR> <div> "You are even without meaning to, Daniel.  You can't sit there and tell me with complete honesty that you won't want to take whatever this," he said, motioning between them, "is to its natural conclusion."</div> <bR> <div> "I'm not asking you for that."</div> <bR> <div> "Yes, you are!"  Jack stood up and walked a few steps away.  "You're asking me to become something I don't think I can be . . . and you're holding your friendship with me hostage unless I do it."</div> <bR> <div> "That's not . . . that's not even close to what I'm asking," Daniel responded, pushing himself to his feet.  "I asked you to treat me as an equal . . ."</div> <bR> <div> "You don't want equality, you want preferential treatment . . ."</div> <bR> <div> "I've never once asked for that . . ."</div> <bR> <div> "And you don't understand that I was already giving you every damned thing you ask for and it was putting the team in danger!"  Jack worked to get his breathing back under control, his face falling as he realized that no matter how much he wanted to remain calm about this subject, it just wasn't going to happen.  "It wasn't Carter I was showing favoritism toward . . . it was you.  I had to stop it and when I did - when I put things back to the way they should have been from the start . . ."</div> <bR> <div> Daniel wanted to argue, tell Jack he was wrong, but as he took the time to think back, he saw just how true Jack's words really were.  "Shit."</div> <bR> <div> "Yeah," Jack said.  "And the way I felt about you only made it worse.  I hid it in anger for awhile, but that whole deal with Reece . . ."</div> <bR> <div> "And then Kelowna."</div> <bR> <div> "I damn near lost you again, Daniel and I just couldn't . . . I would rather have died than lose you again.  Do you know how hard it's been for me to watch you die over and over and over?  Do you have any idea?"</div> <bR> <div> "Kinda," Daniel conceded.  "Submarines and Replicators not withstanding."</div> <bR> <div> Jack turned around and faced the man currently sniffling in the cold.  "This is why they tell you not to get involved too closely with people under your command.  It affects your judgment and threatens the safety of your team and the success of the mission."</div> <bR> <div> "So what do we do?" Daniel asked.</div> <bR> <div> "I don't know," Jack said honestly.  "Genie's already out of the bottle.  Can't really stuff him back in, can we?"</div> <bR> <div> Daniel shook his head.</div> <bR> <div> "Go on home, Daniel.  You're freezing to death out here."</div> <bR> <div> "What about you?"</div> <bR> <div> "Minnesota boy, remember?"</div> <bR> <div> "Cold is cold, Jack.  Not even you're immune."</div> <bR> <div> "I'll head back in a bit."</div> <bR> <div> With a final shake of his head Daniel turned and headed off.  He stopped after a few steps.  "That invitation still open for Christmas?"</div> <bR> <div> "You coming over?"</div> <bR> <div> "Yeah.  I can't cook a turkey for shit."</div> <bR> <div> Jack grinned and walked toward him.  "You bring the rolls."</div> <bR> <div> Together the two men walked to their cars.</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> Daniel pulled into Jack's driveway and saw the cars lined up in front of his house.  He didn't recognize them and wondered if now was the wrong time to come over.  Jack had said sometime in the early afternoon; it was a little before two o'clock yet it looked like he had a house full of people.  Taking a bag from the back seat, he turned off his car and stepped into the cold air outside.  Just as he approached the door, he was faced with a small group of laughing people bidding Jack goodbye and merry Christmas.</div> <bR> <div> He stepped aside and watched them go then turned to Jack.  "Hey."</div> <bR> <div> "Hey.  C'mon in."</div> <bR> <div> "Who was . . .?" Daniel asked, pointing to the departing crowd.</div> <bR> <div> "Inlaws and some of Sara's family that are in town for the holiday.  They usually come by and say hello."</div> <bR> <div> "Oh," Daniel said, not expecting that Jack kept in touch with his wife's former family.</div> <bR> <div> "You bring the rolls?" Jack asked dryly.</div> <bR> <div> "Yes I did," Daniel said, following him into the kitchen where the smell of turkey was thick in the air.  "And a bottle of wine, and . . . "  He reached into the bag and withdrew the items as he spoke, "pie."</div> <bR> <div> "Pie?" Jack asked expectantly, turning to look.  "Kahluah cream?"</div> <bR> <div> "I figured if we were gonna go, we might as well go big."</div> <bR> <div> Jack put the pie in the refrigerator then tended to the pots on the stove.  "This is pretty close to being ready.  You want to give me a hand dishing it up?"</div> <bR> <div> "Sure," Daniel said, pushing up the sleeves of his sweater to wash his hands.</div> <bR> <div> They spooned, scooped and stirred until the meal was on the table, the wine was open and breathing, and everything was in place for the meal.  Daniel looked approvingly at the table with the golden turkey sitting proudly in the middle.  "And here I was thinking mashed potatoes and a roasted chicken."</div> <bR> <div> "Hey, you asked for turkey," Jack said.  "Let's sit down and get to it."  He handed Daniel the carving tools.  "You wanna do the honors?"</div> <bR> <div> "Sure," Daniel smiled.  Thick slices of breast meat fell from the bird as the sharp knife carved its way through the flesh.  Jack was busy doling out the rest of the food items on the plates.  By the time they sat down, Daniel was shaking his head.  "There's no way I'm eating all that."</div> <bR> <div> "Sure you will.  It's tradition."</div> <bR> <div> Two hours later, the men lay sprawled in front of the television - Jack in his recliner and Daniel on the couch - watching a 1950s version of Scrooge.</div> <bR> <div> "I love these movies," Daniel said, waving his wine glass in the direction of the screen.  ""They don't make 'em like this any more."</div> <bR> <div> Jack finished off his beer and set the bottle down on the floor beside the chair.  "Wait here.  I'll be right back."</div> <bR> <div> Daniel watched him get up to leave.  Smiling slyly, he removed a small envelope from his pocket and set it on the arm of Jack's chair before laying back down with a groan and undoing the belt and top button of his jeans.  He was more stuffed than the turkey had been.</div> <bR> <div> Jack came back in with a small, wrapped box in his hand.  Handing it down to Daniel he said, "I just wanted you to have something to let you know . . . I want to put the last few months behind us and . . . fix things.  If we can."</div> <bR> <div> Daniel watched as Jack turned around to sit in his chair and found the envelope perched on the arm.  Jack picked it up and glanced over at Daniel.</div> <bR> <div> "Same here."</div> <bR> <div> Jack nodded, a smile easing over his face.  He opened the flap of the envelope as Daniel tore off the wrapping of the box.</div> <bR> <div> "Daniel."  "Jack."</div> <bR> <div> The men looked at each other and grinned.</div> <bR> <div> "Where the hell did you find this?" Daniel asked, holding up the small figurine.</div> <bR> <div> "There's a dealer in town," Jack shrugged.  "I asked for his advice and he came up with that."</div> <bR> <div> "It's incredible!"  Daniel was busy turning the small statuette over in his hands.</div> <bR> <div> Jack pulled the brochure out of the envelope and loose tickets fell into his lap.  He looked at them and saw they were tickets to all the remaining Colorado Avalanche home games.  "Daniel, these games were all sold out," Jack said.</div> <bR> <div> "I have my sources," Daniel smirked.  He face grew serious once again.  "I wanted you to know I was serious about getting things straightened out."</div> <bR> <div> "I don't know what to say."</div> <bR> <div> "That's good, because neither do I."  Daniel gave Jack a small look of hope.  "Maybe if we work on this together we can figure it out?"</div> <bR> <div> "Yeah, I think we can," Jack said.</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> "Did we get everything?" Daniel said as he checked through the bags in his arms one more time.</div> <bR> <div> "Daniel, we've got enough booze here to sink the Fifth Fleet.  What could we have possibly forgotten?"  Jack pulled down the gate to his pickup truck and wedged the bags of alcohol next to the bags of food so they wouldn't tumble around.</div> <bR> <div> "We forgot the margarita mix," Daniel said boredly.  "I'll be right back."  He shoved the bags at Jack and took a few steps back toward the liquor store.  He heard the revving of an engine, turned, and watched as an old man in a Cadillac far too big for him to see clearly slammed backward into Jack, pinning him against the lowered tailgate of his truck.</div> <bR> <div> "Jack!"</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> Daniel held the IV bags over his shoulders as he ran along side the gurney carrying Jack through the emergency room.  "Hang in there, Jack, you hear me?" he commanded.  "Don't you dare check out on me."</div> <bR> <div> The bags were taken from his hands and he was roughly shoved aside as the doctors and nurses began working on Jack.</div> <bR> <div> "Sir, sir . . ." came a nurse's voice as she pulled him aside, "you have to leave.  They need to work on your friend and they can't do it with you standing there."</div> <bR> <div> "He needs me," Daniel said, trying to fight his way free of the woman's restraining hands.</div> <bR> <div> "He'll get the best possible medical treatment, sir, but you have to stay out here."  She finally managed to get Daniel pinned against the nurse's station.  "I need to get information from you.  How do you know the patient."</div> <bR> <div> "I work with him . . . he's my friend . . . we work up at the mountain together."</div> <bR> <div> "You're in the service?" asked the woman, beginning to write.</div> <bR> <div> "Yes.  Yes.  That's Colonel Jack O'Neill."  Daniel fell silent as he heard the order for a type and cross match on several units of blood.</div> <bR> <div> "Can you tell me what happened?"</div> <bR> <div> Daniel looked down at the nurse as if seeing her for the first time.  "We were at the liquor store, getting ready for the New Year's party . . . Jack was standing behind his truck.  He'd just loaded a few bags inside.  The tailgate was down . . . and then that man . . . that man revved his engine and put his car in reverse."  Tears came hot and sharp to Daniel's eyes.  "Jack was pinned . . ."</div> <bR> <div> "Alright, I need you to stay calm.  How long was he pinned?"</div> <bR> <div> "Just a few seconds . . . the ambulance and paramedics got there right away.  I need to call the base . . . we have doctors who . . ."</div> <bR> <div> "Sir, he's got doctors in there with him right now.  Does he have next of kin?"</div> <bR> <div> Daniel refocused his eyes on the nurse.  "What?"</div> <bR> <div> "Next of kin - is there family we need to call?"</div> <bR> <div> "His ex-wife . . . I don't know other than . . . General Hammond, I suppose."</div> <bR> <div> Daniel heard the yelling and a desperate "code blue" over the speakers and his heart nearly stopped in his chest.  "I have to get in there . . ."</div> <bR> <div> "No!" commanded the woman, placing her hand tightly on Daniel's arm.  "You have to let them do what they need to.  Why don't you come with me and help me make some phone calls?"</div> <bR> <div> Daniel yanked away from her violently.  "You don't understand," he spat.  He stalked back into the area where Jack was being worked on and looked on in dismay.</div> <bR> <div> Jack lay naked on the stretcher, his clothes cut away with IVs and wires leading from various places on his arms and chest.  His abdomen was swollen and his hips seemed to be at the wrong angle to his body.  One leg was badly broken and Daniel could tell blood was running from underneath Jack's head.</div> <bR> <div> Daniel closed his eyes and saw the accident happen all over again - the impact which undoubtedly inflicted severe internal damage.  The man looking around in surprise, moving his car forward, then putting it back in reverse in confusion, then stepping on the gas again, rolling over Jack's leg and injuring his head.  Daniel began to shake as icy fear gripped him.</div> <bR> <div> All movement stopped as the heart monitor that had been calling out Jack's pulse with rapid, high pitched beats suddenly stopped and emitted a solid tone.</div> <bR> <div> "We're losing him!" shouted the doctor before he launched into a furious effort to bring the man back.</div> <bR> <div> Everything became a blur as Daniel watched the supreme effort put forth to save his friend.  He didn't know how long he stood there, but when he felt the warm hand on his shoulder, he knew General Hammond had arrived at the hospital.  The small, ragged noise from the heart monitor indicated the doctors were not having much luck.</div> <bR> <div> "Why don't you come with me, son?" Hammond said gently.</div> <bR> <div> "No," Daniel said.  "I'm staying here with him."</div> <bR> <div> "I don't see there's much you can do."</div> <bR> <div> "I can be here . . . to at least say goodbye," Daniel choked out.</div> <bR> <div> The doctor, hearing the comment looked up.  "Then you better get over here," he stated flatly.</div> <bR> <div> Daniel felt himself go pale but he willed his feet to move to the side of the bed.  He leaned down, putting his lips against the bloodied ear.  "I'm here, Jack," he whispered.  "I'm right here."  He reached down and grabbed his hand.  "Fight.  Please!"</div> <bR> <div> The tone of the monitor's flat line sounded again and Daniel looked down into his friend's face.  "No!" he shouted.  "No!  You can't leave . . . not now!  Not like this!  Jack!  JACK!"</div> <bR> <div> Several of the nurses and two of the orderlies pulled him away and held onto him until he finally slumped, defeated, against a wall.  "Jack."</div> <bR> <div> "We're sorry," said the doctor.  "We did everything we could."</div> <bR> <div> Hammond came to stand in front of the physician.  "We'll make arrangements to have the body transported back to the mountain.  Thank you for your efforts."</div> <bR> <div> Daniel found a chair and sank down into it, head in his hands.</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> Daniel was unsure of the passage of time, or even if he was actually awake, but when he felt the arms go around him, he was pretty sure Sam was there with him.  He raised his hands, covered in Jack's blood, and buried them in her hair which was wet and smelled strongly of shampoo.  He guessed she'd been in the shower when the call had come.  He felt her sobbing against him and then another warm presence was on the other side of him.  He looked up to see Teal'c's face, impassive yet streaked with tears.</div> <bR> <div> "Oh my God!"</div> <bR> <div> Daniel turned toward the exclamation.</div> <bR> <div> "Doctor Victor!  Doctor!  Come quick!"</div> <bR> <div> Daniel sat up straight, his eyes going immediately to the heart monitor that was flickering slightly.</div> <bR> <div> The surgeon who'd been attending Jack came running down the hall.  "He's got a pulse!" he shouted.  "Call OR and tell them we're on our way!"</div> <bR> <div> "Jack?" Daniel whispered.  He stood up and watched as Jack was wheeled down the hall to the elevators.  A few seconds later he saw Janet Frazier pelting down the hall after them.  She caught up with the other doctor, shook his hand and huddled in conference over the chart as the elevator doors closed behind them.</div> <bR> <div> Daniel looked around for an answer.  He saw a grim General Hammond, tight lipped and pale staring after the crowd of people.  "If anyone can make it, Jack O'Neill can."</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> Daniel walked quietly into the ICU room.  The surgery to save Jack's life had taken long, torturous hours.  During that time Daniel had been shown where he could take a shower and he now wore a pair of borrowed scrubs from the hospital, his own bloodied clothes were in a heap in the trash.</div> <bR> <div> Jack lay quietly, on ventilation, with more tubes and hoses connected to him than he'd ever seen on anyone in his life.  The heart monitor told the story, however, and it's beep was steady.  He leaned over the railing, careful that he didn't pinch anything between his body and the metal, then wrapped his fingers around Jack's hand.  "I'm right here, Jack.  They won't let me stay in here with you for very long, but I want you to know, I'm here.  I'm gonna stay here until you open your eyes and tell me to fuck off and let you get some sleep, you understand?"</div> <bR> <div> Jack's skin felt overly warm to his touch and he knew it was probably just a side-effect of the medicines that were being streamed into his body.  "Sam's here, Teal'c, . . . even Hammond.  Janet came in . . . saved you twice on the table."  He ran his fingers carefully over a small tuft of gray hair at Jack's temple.  "I know you're in a dark place right now . . . and you don't think there's any way to get back to us.  But we're here.  Waiting.  We'll wait for as long as it takes.  <I>I'll</I> wait for as long as it takes."</div> <bR> <div> "I'm sorry, Doctor Jackson, but you'll have to go now.  You can come back in a few hours."</div> <bR> <div> Daniel turned to look at the nurse waiting patiently at the foot of the bed.  One more squeeze on Jack's hand and he left without argument.</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> ". . . it's not really that the syntax is wrong, it's that I can't find the pattern," Daniel sighed in frustration, the yellow note pad on his knee.  "I know it's here somewhere," he muttered under his breath.  With one hand he was scribbling notes, while the other hand was wrapped loosely around Jack's fingers.  It was three weeks since the accident and Jack had only recently been taken off ventilation.  He was in a deep coma, but his body was showing daily signs of improvement.</div> <bR> <div> "I'm pretty sure SG-8 missed a part of the text on one of the walls," Daniel said firmly, rubbing his thumb gently back and forth over the back of Jack's knuckles.  "It's like there's a whole section . . ."</div> <bR> <div> "'an-yel?"</div> <bR> <div> Daniel bolted out of is chair and looked down into the face of his friend.  "Jack?"  He placed one hand on the side of the lax face.  "Jack, wake up.  Can you hear me?  Wake up."  Digging under the covers of the bed, Daniel found the call button and hit it fiercely.  A few moments later a nurse hurried into the room.</div> <bR> <div> "What is it?"</div> <bR> <div> "He said my name," Daniel said, his eyes trained on Jack's face.</div> <bR> <div> The nurse leaned in and saw the dark eyelashes begin to flutter open.  Her face broke out in a radiant smile as she ran off to get the doctor.</div> <bR> <div> "Come on, Jack," Daniel urged, "you can do it.  Open your eyes."</div> <bR> <div> Jack's eyelids finally slid all the way open, the pupils dilating down at the sudden rush of light.</div> <bR> <div> "That's it," Daniel half laughed, half cried.  "Come on back to me, Jack.  All the way back."</div> <bR> <div> He saw Jack swallow and blink slowly.  "H'ppn?"</div> <bR> <div> "You were hurt in an accident.  Do you remember?"</div> <bR> <div> "Hrrr?"</div> <bR> <div> "Yeah, pretty badly.  Jack, do you know who I am?"</div> <bR> <div> "D'n'l."</div> <bR> <div> Daniel lay his forehead in the center of Jack's chest and sighed with relief.</div> <bR> <div> Footsteps heralded the return of the nurse and the doctor, with Janet bursting through the door ahead of them both.  Daniel nearly laughed as he saw the small doctor pratically climb into the bed with Jack to begin the examination.</div> <bR> <div> "Colonel, can you hear me?" she asked, beginning to take his vital signs as the other doctor looked carefully into Jack's eyes with a scope.</div> <bR> <div> "Yeh," Jack grunted.</div> <bR> <div> "I want you to move your toes for me," Janet ordered as she whipped the blanket down off the bed.</div> <bR> <div> Small, jerky movements from Jack's feet had Janet nearly dancing for joy.</div> <bR> <div> "Now your fingers."</div> <bR> <div> Jack wiggled fingers on both hands and the sigh heard around the room was audible.  "That's excellent, Colonel.  Keep this up and you'll be up and dancing the waltz in no time."</div> <bR> <div> Jack grunted and closed his eyes.</div> <bR> <div> Daniel moved closer immediately.  A restraining hand by the doctor stopped him from reaching out to the man.  "This will be normal sleep, Doctor Jackson."</div> <bR> <div> Daniel looked to Janet who nodded.  "His body has been through a horrible ordeal and he needs all his reserves to heal.  He'll wake up for longer and longer periods of time over the next few weeks.  But for now, I think we can safely assume the worst is over."</div> <bR> <div> "How long until he can go home?" Daniel asked.</div> <bR> <div> "Colonel O'Neill has a cracked pelvis, a broken leg, and severe internal injuries.  He'll be with us for quite some time yet, then he'll spend a few months down in rehab.  This is not a few bruises and some cuts, Doctor Jackson.  He still has a very long row to hoe."</div> <bR> <div> The two doctors proceeded to order a battery of tests and diagnostic studies as Daniel stood watching the sleeping form of his friend.  The tightness in his chest that had been there for the last three weeks began to lessen.  Jack was awake.  That's all that mattered.  They could deal with anything else that came their way.</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> Daniel hurried through the corridors of the hospital, checking his watch as he went.  He was late getting out of the mountain and cursed the two SG teams that hadn't prepared thoroughly for the briefing.  When he stepped through Jack's door, he saw the man lying quietly, the hiss of oxygen in the room and the mask over his face screaming that something had gone wrong.  He turned and headed toward the nurse's station.</div> <bR> <div> "Sally?" he called as he saw the night charge nurse.</div> <bR> <div> "Daniel, hi," she said distractedly.</div> <bR> <div> "What's going on with Jack?"</div> <bR> <div> The nurse finished noting something in a chart, clicked her pen and turned to face him.  "He was having some problems breathing this morning.  We took some x-rays.  He's got pneumonia."</div> <bR> <div> "What?" Daniel asked.  "How the hell does that happen?"</div> <bR> <div> "He's not moving about, not breathing deeply, his immune system is way down . . . it's one of the things that can happen in situations like this."</div> <bR> <div> "He's gonna be okay?" Daniel asked, confused.</div> <bR> <div> "He's on full spectrum antibiotics.  We caught this early enough that we don't think it will impede his recovery."  She gave him a sad smile.  "These things do crop up."</div> <bR> <div> "Is he sick . . . I mean, does he feel sick?"</div> <bR> <div> "He's not feeling too great," Sally informed him.  "He's running a pretty good fever."</div> <bR> <div> "You didn't put the feeding tube back in did you?"</div> <bR> <div> "No, not yet.  But if he can't eat enough . . ."</div> <bR> <div> Daniel turned and walked back into Jack's room, pulling up a chair as he came close to the bed.  He ran his hand over the soft covering of hair that was growing back on Jack's skull after they'd shaved it for surgery to implant a shunt after the accident.  He smiled when he felt that the crown wasn't as thickly covered as the rest.  "Getting a little monk's cap there, Jack," he whispered.</div> <bR> <div> Jack slowly opened his eyes.  "Daniel?"</div> <bR> <div> "Yeah, it's me."  Daniel reached up and turned off the light over the bed.  "Thought maybe we could just watch a little tv tonight.  The Simpsons are on."</div> <bR> <div> "Hurts."</div> <bR> <div> "What hurts?"</div> <bR> <div> Jack swatted at his chest with his fingers.  "Burns."</div> <bR> <div> "You've got pneumonia," Daniel told him plainly.  "They've got you on antibiotics to take care of it."</div> <bR> <div> "Hard to breathe," Jack rasped through the mask.</div> <bR> <div> "I know," Daniel whispered.  "Janet will be by in a little bit to check on you.  We'll ask if there's anything else she can do."</div> <bR> <div> Jack nodded.</div> <bR> <div> "How are you feeling otherwise?"  He reached over and found a clean cloth on the beside table and dabbed at the sweat that was dripping down Jack's brow.</div> <bR> <div> "Not too good," Jack said softly.  "Better now that you're here, though."</div> <bR> <div> "Did you eat some dinner?"</div> <bR> <div> Jack shook his head.  "Didn't feel like it."</div> <bR> <div> "Well that may be the case," Daniel said, "but if you don't eat enough food to keep up your strength, they're going to put the feeding tube back in."</div> <bR> <div> "Ugh god," Jack grunted.</div> <bR> <div> "I know you hate that so you have to try, okay?"</div> <bR> <div> Jack nodded dismally.</div> <bR> <div> "If I called down and asked them to send up some soup, do you think you could eat some?"</div> <bR> <div> Jack scowled.</div> <bR> <div> "Too greasy?"</div> <bR> <div> A nod.</div> <bR> <div> "Okay, hang on."  Daniel grabbed the phone and dialed.  "Hey, Janet.  It's Daniel.  Yeah, yeah, he's okay.  Look, can I bring him things to eat?  This hospital food's not gonna work.  No, no, I was thinking of maybe some soups at first.  Maybe a little pasta?"  Daniel listened carefully.  "Right.  Right.  Okay.  Thanks.  Will you let the hospital know?"  He smiled.  "I know.  I don't mind and if it helps . . ."  He winked at Jack.  "I'll see you in about an hour."  Standing, he hung up the phone.  "Look, I'll be back in a bit.  Janet gave me the go ahead for Operation Soup, so . . . I need to go lay in a supply.  Give me about thirty minutes and we'll have some dinner."</div> <bR> <div> Jack nodded tiredly.  "Thanks."</div> <bR> <div> "No problem."</div> <bR> <div> Daniel made his way quickly outside and to the small restaurant he knew of around the corner that offered homemade soups that were made fresh daily.  He spoke to the manager and arranged to have several containers of the soups delivered to the hospital every day.  The older man explained that this was a common practice for families of people who were in long-term stay at the hospital and that everything would be arranged and handled without Daniel having to worry.  Glad that everything had gone smoothly, Daniel ordered a large bowl of turkey noodle soup, some fresh slices of bread, and then headed back to the hospital.</div> <bR> <div> He stopped at the nurses' station to explain his plan to Sally, told her that Doctor Fraiser would be by tonight to sign off on it, then got two bowls from the private stash of the nurses and headed into Jack's room.</div> <bR> <div> Jack rolled his head to one side to see Daniel unloading his parcels on the counter.  "Now, I'll only do this for you if you <I>swear</I> to me that you'll eat  . . . every single day."</div> <bR> <div> Jack nodded.  "What'cha got?"</div> <bR> <div> "Turkey noodle," Daniel said, pouring a little bit in Jack's bowl, buttering a piece of bread and setting it on the tray in front of him.  He poured most of the remaining soup in his own bowl, grabbed some buttered bread for himself and sat down in the chair.  Kicking off his shoes he placed his feet up on the bed and settled in to have dinner with Jack.</div> <bR> <div> The injured man ate slowly, having to go back to the oxygen mask every few minutes, but he succeeded in finishing his meager bowl of soup and the entire slice of bread.  Daniel grinned proudly.  "Way to go."</div> <bR> <div> "Thanks," Jack said and belched.  He replaced his mask around his face and lay back, exhausted.</div> <bR> <div> "You get some sleep," Daniel said as he finished off he last of the soup.  "Janet will be here soon."</div> <bR> <div> "Not a minutes' peace," Jack mumbled just before slipping into a comfortable doze.</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> Jack's arms shook as he clutched at the bars on either side of him.  Each step he took was agony, firey stabs of pain shooting through his hips and legs.  Sweat poured off him in torrents.</div> <bR> <div> "You have exerted yourself too far," O'Neill warned.  "You may cause yourself further injury."</div> <bR> <div> "I can do this," Jack gritted out.  "I will do this."</div> <bR> <div> "Jack, what the fuck are you doing?" came Daniel's angry voice as he stormed into the physical therapy room.  He placed himself directly in Jack's path.</div> <bR> <div> "What's it look like, Sherlock?" Jack growled.</div> <bR> <div> "Like you're trying to split that fracture in your hip wide open again," Daniel returned angrily.  "Stop.  Now."  Daniel saw Teal'c move the wheelchair into position for Jack to sit.</div> <div> Jack's arms gave way and Daniel caught him around the chest.  The two men stood there for a moment before Daniel turned his head so his lips were millimeters from Jack's ear.  "Please don't do this, Jack.  We need you back at the SGC."  He gave Jack a small hug.  "I need you back."</div> <bR> <div> Jack sighed in resignation and nodded.  Daniel helped him sit down, wincing as Jack grunted with pain.  "We're gonna have a bitch of a time getting that pain back under control tonight."</div> <bR> <div> "We will perform kel'no'reem," Teal'c informed them.  "It has helped in the past when O'Neill has over exerted himself."</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> Daniel stood aside as Jack took small, shuffling steps into the house.  The crutches helped, but the effort of bearing weight on limbs not accustomed to normal activity caused him to go slow.  He looked around his house and sighed in relief.  "Last time I was here, there was snow on the ground and it was colder than a well digger's ass," he said and maneuvered himself toward the bedroom.</div> <bR> <div> "I made sure the landscapers were by yesterday and mowed your lawn.  They said something about faerie rings out by your hibiscus."</div> <bR> <div> "Ah, dammit, that's gonna need to be resodded," Jack complained.  "Did they give you an estimate?"</div> <bR> <div> "Yeah, I put all that sort of thing in a folder by the bed."</div> <bR> <div> "'K," Jack said, taking things slow and steady to his room.  He got to the door and looked up . . . and stopped dead in his tracks.  "Daniel?"</div> <bR> <div> "It's a little welcome home gift," Daniel said, leaning on the wall behind Jack.</div> <bR> <div> Jack turned and looked at the smug smile on his friend's face.  "A king sized bed?"</div> <bR> <div> "Posturepedic mattress," Daniel informed him.</div> <bR> <div> "What was wrong with my old bed?" Jack asked.</div> <bR> <div> "Small, lumpy, great big dip in the middle."</div> <bR> <div> "Hey," Jack said with a frown.</div> <bR> <div> Daniel couldn't help but chuckle.  "Wrong dip," he snickered.  "Come on, get in there and try this thing out."</div> <bR> <div> "There's an ulterior motive here, I can smell it," Jack said.  The bed seemed to take up the entire room but there was more than enough space to get to all sides.  He sat down carefully on the edge and groaned in delight.  "Now that's nice."</div> <bR> <div> "It's got a pillow top, and Janet helped me get some big sheets of egg carton foam from the hospital, and then we got you one of those lambs wool mattress covers.  You shouldn't have any problems with bed sores with all that."</div> <bR> <div> "Daniel, it's not that I don't appreciate all this, but . . ."</div> <bR> <div> "Do you have to use the bathroom before you settle down?  Because once you're down, you should probably stay there until dinner, ya know."</div> <bR> <div> "Daniel."</div> <bR> <div> Knowing he'd been caught, Daniel set the duffle bag containing Jack's hospital things down.  "I want to stay here," Daniel said, raising his chin in the direction of the bed, "sleep here . . . with you.  There wasn't enough room in the other bed for that."</div> <bR> <div> Jack sighed.  "You don't have to . . ."</div> <bR> <div> Daniel held up a hand.  "Let me get you settled, get some dinner in the oven and then I'll come in and we'll talk, okay?"</div> <bR> <div> "Okay," Jack said grudgingly.</div> <bR> <div> "Do you have to . . ."  Daniel motioned toward the bathroom.</div> <bR> <div> "No.  Did that before I left."</div> <bR> <div> "Okay," Daniel said as he knelt down and unlaced Jack's shoes.</div> <bR> <div> "I can do that," Jack sighed impatiently.</div> <bR> <div> "I know you can," Daniel said gruffly.  "Let me.  Please."</div> <bR> <div> Jack watched as Daniel's fingers removed the shoes carefully, placing them under the bed.  "How's your leg feeling?"</div> <bR> <div> "Little sore today.  I've done a lot of walking."</div> <bR> <div> "Okay, I'll get you some Tylenol.  You've got awhile before you can take more pain meds."  Daniel stood and held out his hand.  "Stand up so I can pull back the covers."</div> <bR> <div> Jack did so, slowly and carefully, wincing when his hip protested.  "Flannel sheets?" Jack asked.</div> <bR> <div> "You said you got cold at night when you sleep," Daniel answered as Jack lowered himself into bed.</div> <bR> <div> The long, relieved sigh from Jack mirrored the relaxation his body immediately fell into when he was at last laying down.  "Damn, this is nice."</div> <bR> <div> "I thought you'd like it."  Daniel went around to the other side of the bed, grabbed some extra pillows and wedged then underneath Jack's leg, elevating it slightly.  "We'll try and keep some of the swelling down."</div> <bR> <div> "Are you gonna be like this until I'm back on duty?" Jack asked, worried for the other man.</div> <bR> <div> "No," Daniel said.  "No, I won't be."</div> <bR> <div> "Daniel, I'm fine," Jack reassured him.</div> <bR> <div> "But you almost weren't," Daniel said, swallowing hard.  "I'll go get some dinner going."</div> <bR> <div> Jack pulled the covers over his legs and looked up at his ceiling.  He ached, his hip throbbed in time with his heart, his head was killing him, and his eyes hurt from too much sun for too long on the way home.  What hurt more was the haunted look in Daniel's eyes - and he doubted there was a pill that could fix that.</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> Jack awoke slowly.  He was warm, for the first time in months, he was warm all the way to the center of his body.  He opened his eyes slightly and saw the soft light from outside the window, indicating it was early evening and the sun was just down below the horizon.  The rich smell of a home baked casserole filled the air and he smiled.  Daniel's chicken enchilada surprise . . . one of his favorites.</div> <bR> <div> When Jack tried to rearrange himself slightly, he realized with sudden clarity why it was he was so warm.  Daniel was plastered to his side.</div> <bR> <div> "Did I wake you?" came the whispered voice.</div> <bR> <div> Jack turned to look into the worried eyes of the man beside him.  "No."  He sat up slightly and saw that although Daniel was as close as another human being could get without actually laying on top of him, he was putting no weight on any part of his body.</div> <bR> <div> "I watched it all happen," Daniel said suddenly, "and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it."</div> <bR> <div> Jack slumped back into the pillows as he realized what Daniel was talking about.</div> <bR> <div> "I've seen you shot.  Hell, I've seen you die.  But this was so totally pointless," Daniel said with bitter agony.  "This old man . . . who never should have been driving . . . just slammed into you.  You were pinned against the corner of your tailgate.  And you screamed.  When you fell, you rolled.  He'd pulled forward, heard the commotion, thought he'd hit the car in front of him so he backed up again.  I was there, trying to get him to shut off the engine, but he wouldn't.  I heard your leg snap when he ran over you the second time."</div> <bR> <div> "Jesus Christ," Jack whispered, closing his eyes.</div> <bR> <div> "Somehow he hit your head with his tire . . . I don't know how.  There was so much blood."</div> <bR> <div> Jack didn't need to turn his head to see the tears; he could hear them clearly in Daniel's voice.  "Daniel, don't."</div> <bR> <div> "When I finally got him to shut the car off, I went to you right away.  I knew you were hurt bad . . . your midsection was already hard and you were barely breathing.  Someone had called 9-1-1 when they saw you get hit.  The ambulance was there right away.  They put those compression pants on you, but you didn't come around.  They were talking about how much blood you were losing . . ."</div> <bR> <div> Jack felt Daniel's fist knot into the stomach of his shirt.</div> <bR> <div> "I rode in with you because the paramedic needed an extra set of hands.  You barely had a pulse.  We got to the ER and they started working on you, yelling for blood and platelets.  They tried everything.  I told them I needed to be there with you.  If you were going to die, I wanted you to do it with me there."  Daniel wiped his face on the shoulder of Jack's shirt.  His tears left a wet spot that seemed to burn Jack's skin.  "I heard you flat line and I begged you not to go.  But there was so much damage . . . you'd lost so much blood.  I was standing in it . . . this big, red, sticky puddle of your blood."</div> <bR> <div> Jack felt the tears sting the back of his eyes.  He remembered Kelowna, the bomb, and the explosion, and the devastation he'd felt knowing Daniel was going to die . . . but for Daniel, there'd been no Asgard to come to the rescue at the last minute.</div> <bR> <div> "They led me away . . . I sat down . . . Sam was there, Teal'c, General Hammond.  Then one of the nurses, she looked at the monitor. . . saw you had a pulse again.  They took you off to surgery and when you came out . . . you looked like you were made of paper.  Janet told us they'd lost you on the table twice . . . both times she'd managed to get you back, but just barely.  You were in ICU for a long time . . . a very long time.  Your liver . . . it took a big hit and no one knew if you'd survive.  And all I could think about was the fact I'd written you this letter telling you to play nice or I was packing my toys and leaving."  Daniel drew in a ragged breath.  "I never told you what was important.  That I respect you . . . that I wish I could be a little like you . . . I never told you . . . I never said . . ."</div> <bR> <div> "Daniel . . ." Jack said, his voice a quiet plea.</div> <bR> <div> "I never told you I loved you, Jack."  Daniel placed a soft kiss into the silky gray hair at Jack's temple.  "I love you."</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> Jack could smell coffee and it tugged him gently from sleep.  He looked to the night stand and found his pain pills, a glass of water, and a jam-covered English muffin waiting for him.  A note was perched beside the plate.</div> <bR> <div> <I>Jack - long day - lots of meetings.  Janet will be here at noon, Sam at three, Teal'c at six.  Don't overdo at PT.  Behave or I'll kick your ass.  D.</I></div> <bR> <div> Jack smiled and looked at the clock.  It was nine.  He had time to get up, take a shower, get dressed and drink some coffee and eat a little more breakfast before Janet descended on him like the archangel Michael.  He stood slowly, his hip aching mightily.  Once he got going, he found it easier to move.  As he emptied his bladder, he chuckled.  Daniel so wasn't a hearts and flowers kind of guy.</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> Looking at the front entrance to Cheyenne Mountain was like the first day at a new school.  Jack's pulse was rapid and he had a few butterflies.  It was nearly eight months since the last time he'd entered the complex.  Janet had finally released him to light duty, no off-world missions.  He sighed.  He couldn't believe how much he'd missed the place.</div> <bR> <div> Sliding his security card through the reader, he stepped into the elevator and settled back against the wall of the car.  When it stopped on the eleventh floor, he strode out and walked to the security checkpoint to continue down to Stargate Command.</div> <bR> <div> "Welcome back, Colonel O'Neill, sir," said the airman on duty.</div> <bR> <div> "Thank you, Sergeant," Jack smiled.</div> <bR> <div> "Place hasn't been the same without you, sir."</div> <bR> <div> "Good to be back," Jack said with an understated smile.  He tapped the desk with his fingers then turned and stepped into the second elevator.</div> <bR> <div> He hit the button for the twenty-eighth floor and sat back to listen to the hum of the motors as they lowered him hundreds of feet below the surface.  He smiled.  This felt good.</div> <bR> <div> When the doors opened he headed immediately to General Hammond's office.  He looked at the stairs leading up to the briefing room and grinned.  He took them easily two at a time with only a slight twinge from his hip.</div> <bR> <div> Rapping on the closed door with his knuckles, Jack waited for the command to enter.  When it came he swung it open, leaning on the knob and leaning into the room.  "Lucy, I'm hoooome," he sing-songed.</div> <bR> <div> General Hammond couldn't help the fatherly chuckle that bubbled up inside him.  "Welcome back, Colonel."  He stood and extended his hand.</div> <bR> <div> Jack took it and gave it a hearty shake.  "Good to be back, sir."</div> <bR> <div> "I've got some pretty grumpy people on base . . . they wanted to throw you a welcome back party."</div> <bR> <div> "I didn't want the fuss, sir," Jack said, wrinkling his nose.  "But I appreciate the sentiment."</div> <bR> <div> "Doctor Fraiser tells me you'll be back on full duty in another four weeks."</div> <bR> <div> "Yes, sir, that's what she's told me as well.  We could cut that down . . ."</div> <bR> <div> "Don't start," Hammond said, holding up his hand to forestall the wheedling.  "I have a proposition for you, Jack."</div> <bR> <div> Jack sat down in a chair across from Hammond's desk.  "What's that, sir?"</div> <bR> <div> "I want you to take back command of SG-1."</div> <bR> <div> "Sir?"</div> <bR> <div> "After you've been at this as long as I have, Colonel, you learn to trust your instincts.  Reynolds is a damn fine commander, but he's not in sync with SG-1 the way you were.  We've got the training site fully manned and it's running like clock work.  That's thanks to you and the foundation you laid . . . I'm not saying you aren't an asset in that position."</div> <bR> <div> "I understand that, sir."</div> <bR> <div> "I need my flagship team back to full force, Jack.  Stakes have risen out there," Hammond said, motioning to the gate, "and I can't afford to have anything less than the best at all levels.  I want you to think about it . . ."</div> <bR> <div> "I'll do it," Jack said quickly.</div> <bR> <div> "Just like that?"</div> <bR> <div> "Just like that," Jack smiled.</div> <bR> <div> "I somehow thought that might be your answer," Hammond said.  "I've got the pertinent files waiting for you in your office, Colonel.  I believe that would add up to about . . . four week's worth of reading."</div> <bR> <div> "Yes, sir," Jack laughed.  "I just bet it would."  He stood up and saluted smartly.</div> <bR> <div> "It's good to have you back, Colonel."</div> <bR> <div> "Thank you, sir.  I've missed you, too."</div> <bR> <div> Jack stepped lightly from Hammond's office and made a bee-line straight to Daniel's.  He found the scholar mumbling to himself over a pile of broken tablets on a work table.</div> <bR> <div> "Daniel."</div> <bR> <div> "Huh?"  Daniel didn't even bother looking up.</div> <bR> <div> "What'cha doin'?"</div> <bR> <div> "I'm, uh . . . . uh . . . ."  Daniel leaned down and peered more closely at one of the broken shards.</div> <bR> <div> Jack rolled his eyes and slapped his hand over the artifact currently under scrutiny.  Daniel moved back, scowled then turned his head to look at the man standing beside him.  "I was reading that."</div> <bR> <div> "No, you were mumbling incoherently.  Take a break.  We need to talk."</div> <bR> <div> "I just got here twenty-five minutes ago."</div> <bR> <div> "Take a break," Jack said and nodded to the door.</div> <bR> <div> "Alright," Daniel sighed.  He followed Jack out into the hall.  "So, what's up?"</div> <bR> <div> "Hammond just gave me back command of SG-1."</div> <bR> <div> That seemed to surprise Daniel.  "Oh?"</div> <bR> <div> "Don't look so thrilled," Jack frowned.</div> <bR> <div> "No, no, it's not that.  I just . . . I wasn't expecting that.  I knew he'd recommended Reynolds to take command of SG-3, but I didn't know he'd be bringing you back to a field unit."</div> <bR> <div> "You okay with that?" Jack asked quietly.</div> <bR> <div> Daniel slid his card through the reader on the elevator and then turned to Jack with a little grin.  "Yeah, I'm okay with that."</div> <bR> <div> "Because if you're not, I'll turn him down."</div> <bR> <div> "I wish I could go back and burn that damned letter," Daniel muttered.</div> <bR> <div> "No, you were right.  I did treat you differently.  I just want you to know, it won't be that way this time.  You have my word."</div> <bR> <div> "Okay," Daniel said.  "Good."</div> <bR> <div> "So, you feel up to dinner Friday?"</div> <bR> <div> "It's only Monday, how would I know that?"</div> <bR> <div> "Just asking."</div> <bR> <div> "Hoping I'm clairvoyant now, Jack?"</div> <bR> <div> "You can be so bitchy," Jack said as they stepped into the elevator.</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> Jack opened the door as he walked from his living room and continued down the hall.  "Come on in, grab a beer, have a seat."</div> <bR> <div> "Jack?" Daniel asked, closing the door behind him as watched Jack's back disappear around a corner.</div> <bR> <div> "You bring the salad?" Jack called from the back of the house.</div> <bR> <div> Daniel looked down at the prepacked leaves of romaine in the bag in his hand.  "Yeah."</div> <bR> <div> "Good, dump it in a bowl and toss something into it, would'ya?"</div> <bR> <div> "Jack, what are you doing?"</div> <bR> <div> "You just never mind and go make the salad."</div> <bR> <div> Daniel rolled his eyes and gave a little shake of his head before proceeding into the kitchen.  He dug out a large bowl, opened the plastic bag containing the greens and poured them out.</div> <bR> <div> "There's olives open in the fridge," Jack's voice instructed him.  "And tomatoes."</div> <bR> <div> Daniel found the items and threw them into the salad, then picked one of the bottles of dressing from the door shelf, squirted in a liberal amount then tossed it quickly with a fork he grabbed from the drawer.  Jack walked in just as he was finishing, snagged a small bowl of grated Parmesan cheese and threw it in.</div> <bR> <div> "What are you up to?" Daniel asked.</div> <bR> <div> Jack put the dirty dishes into the dishwasher and smirked.  "You'll see.  Later."</div> <bR> <div> "Your surprises make me nervous," Daniel said as he sucked the dressing from his thumb, tossing the fork into the sink.  "What's for dinner?"</div> <bR> <div> "Lasagne," Jack said.</div> <bR> <div> "Nice.  Extra cheese?"</div> <bR> <div> "Of course," Jack answered.  "Take that on out to the table.  This thing's ready."  He pulled open the oven, grabbed a pair of mitts and removed the bubbling casserole.</div> <bR> <div> "Who made this one?" Daniel asked.</div> <bR> <div> "Mrs. Hershel."</div> <bR> <div> "She likes you," Daniel teased.  "A lot."</div> <bR> <div> "Hey, if it gets me homemade Italian, she can even fantasize about me if she wants, I don't care."  Jack set the pan down on a towel and pulled out his chair.</div> <bR> <div> "Jack, she's seventy-five years old."</div> <bR> <div> "But she puts in extra cheese," Jack purred.</div> <bR> <div> "That's just so wrong," Daniel laughed, taking the towel off the warm garlic bread sitting in a basket.</div> <bR> <div> They chatted through dinner, managing to finish off the majority of the dish before finally calling it quits.  Daniel insisted on doing the dishes while Jack cleaned up and within minutes they were settled on the couch sipping ice cold beers and watching the fire crackle in the hearth.</div> <bR> <div> "I wanted to ask you something," Jack started tentatively.</div> <bR> <div> "What's that?" Daniel asked.  He was full, comfortable, warm and in Jack's company.  He didn't think he could be any more relaxed if he tried.</div> <bR> <div> "I was wondering," Jack said, scrubbing one thumbnail over the corner of the beer label, "that is, I was hoping . . . that maybe . . ."</div> <bR> <div> "Jack?" Daniel urged softly.</div> <bR> <div> "I thought maybe it was time you and I became . . . more . . . than friends."</div> <bR> <div> Daniel studied Jack very closely, saw the tense set of his shoulders, the thin line of his lips.  He was waiting for the rejection to come.</div> <bR> <div> "Are you sure about this?"</div> <bR> <div> Jack nodded then looked up into Daniel's eyes.  "Yeah.  I'm sure."</div> <bR> <div> "You have any idea what we're getting into here?"</div> <bR> <div> Jack shook his head very slowly.  "Nope," he said, enunciating so the last sound 'popped.'  "Don't care, either."</div> <bR> <div> Daniel nodded once.  "Okay."  He leaned forward, set his beer carefully on the table then pushed himself to his feet.  Two steps were all it took bring him within reach of Jack.  He held out his hand.  "Come on."</div> <bR> <div> Jack set down his own beer, reached up and took Daniel's hand, using it to lever himself up, and let himself be lead down the hall.</div> <bR> <div> Daniel saw the glow coming from the doorway and as he stepped in, he was amazed to see the transformation the bedroom had undergone.  Candles in amber glass globes glowed gently on a table placed well away from the bed, their scent one of beeswax and clover; beside the bed there were large, soft throw pillows and hanging from the place in the ceiling where Daniel was sure there was a light fixture, were long cascades of muslin which surrounded the bed in muted elegance.  <I>Just like the tents on Abydos</I>, he thought.</div> <bR> <div> Turning to look at Jack, he was amazed to see a blush and a slightly shy smile.</div> <bR> <div> "I was going for a Lawrence of Arabia thing.  It's the best I could do."  Jack shrugged self-consciously.</div> <bR> <div> "Lawrence of . . ."</div> <bR> <div> "It was either that or The Ten Commandments.  Those are the only two desert movies I know that don't involve tanks and World War II . . . and I know how much you miss being there, in the tents and the desert."</div> <bR> <div> Daniel looked around him again as he walked fully into the room.  He heard Jack shut the door and at that moment, it was one of the most erotic sounds he'd ever heard.</div> <bR> <div> "Where, uh . . ." Daniel asked, motioning around him, "where exactly did you get the idea for all this?"</div> <bR> <div> "Oh, well . . . all that time at home I started watching these home improvement shows," Jack said casually.</div> <bR> <div> "Oh . . . you didn't," Daniel snickered.</div> <bR> <div> "And there was this one show on Trading Spaces . . . had a desert theme."</div> <bR> <div> "Oh ya did."  Daniel laughed and took off his glasses.</div> <bR> <div> "Hokey, huh?" Jack asked.</div> <bR> <div> "No," Daniel said immediately, seeing that Jack was becoming embarrassed.  "Not at all."  He held out his arms to encompass the entire room.  "I've never had anyone do this for me.  Ever."</div> <bR> <div> Jack became serious.  "I don't know <I>how</I> to do this, Daniel."  He looked up, a little defeated.  "I've been trying to come up with something for months, and the longer I waited, the more worried I got that I'd never take the step.  If you were a woman, we would have been . . . together . . . long before this, but . . ."</div> <bR> <div> "I understand.  I do," Daniel said.  He looked over at the bedside table and saw a small warmer with bottle of what was, presumably, massage oil on it.  "Is that for me . . . or for you?"</div> <bR> <div> "I was planning on me doing a little pampering tonight.  You've done enough over the last . . . what, eight months?"</div> <bR> <div> "I haven't minded," Daniel said.</div> <bR> <div> "I know.  I'm glad you've been there."</div> <bR> <div> "So," Daniel said, hoping his nerves weren't showing too badly, "should I . . ."  He plucked at his shirt.</div> <bR> <div> "Yeah," Jack said, moving quickly to a chest of drawers.  He pulled out some thick, soft towels and laid them on the bed which had been turned down.</div> <bR> <div> Daniel unbuttoned his shirt, pulling it out of his jeans as he did so.  "Do I get all the way undressed?" he asked.  He smiled when he saw Jack swallow.</div> <bR> <div> "Yeah," Jack said, watching as the shirt slid over Daniel's shoulders.  He shook himself back to the present.  "Uh, yeah . . . and, um . . . I will be, too."  He paused a moment.  "Is that too weird for you?"</div> <bR> <div> "No," Daniel said with a smile.  "Not at all."</div> <bR> <div> "Okay," Jack said.  "Okay, then . . . um . . . just go ahead and lay down . . . on . . . the . . ."  Words trailed off as he watched Daniel push down his jeans and briefs.  "Jesus."</div> <bR> <div> "I'm feeling a little alone in this," Daniel said, motioning to Jack's still clothed body.</div> <bR> <div> "Wha?"</div> <bR> <div> "Clothes?"</div> <bR> <div> "Huh?  Oh!  Right.  Right."  Jack kicked off his shoes and socks, pulled off his shirt and then paused before stripping off his pants.  "I'm probably gonna get a little . . . well, not a little, but you know . . . hard."  He winced.</div> <bR> <div> "I would hope so," Daniel said.  His mouth went dry as Jack's hips and thighs came into view.  The cruel scars from the surgeries were still healing, but it took nothing away from the man standing before him.  "Well . . . fuck," he whispered.  "Way different than seeing you in the showers on base."</div> <bR> <div> Jack smiled and ran his hands over the scars on his abdomen.  "These bother you?  I can get a robe . . ."</div> <bR> <div> Daniel only shook his head.  "No," he whispered, his eyes traveling up over Jack's chest to his neck and finally his face.  "Shall I . . ."  He nodded toward the bed.</div> <bR> <div> "Yeah, lay on your front first," Jack instructed and waited for Daniel to get comfortable.  When he heard Daniel sigh, he eased onto the bed, pushed Daniel's legs together and straddled the back of his thighs.  Leaning forward, he sucked in a breath as his cock brushed over the taut roundness of Daniel's ass.  He shook his head as he knelt back . . . he knew he was in trouble already.</div> <bR> <div> Pouring some oil onto his hands, he started at the small of Daniel's back and worked up slowly, using the heels of his palms and the flat of his fingers to exert a steady, even pressure into Daniel's muscles.  He felt the rumbled groan of pleasure through his hands.</div> <bR> <div> "Ohdamnyergoodatthat," Daniel mumbled into the pillow.</div> <bR> <div> Jack watched as his fingers left small whirls in the oil on Daniel's back, blending again and again until nothing was left but a faint glow on the skin.  <I>Skin like velvet</I>, he thought to himself.  He spent extra time around Daniel's shoulders, working the thick muscles until they were supple and pliant.  Daniel gave his hips a little wiggle and Jack looked down, realizing his cock was rocking back and forth in the cleft.  He heard the man chuckle and leaned down to lay a trail of soft kisses between the perfect shoulders.  Daniel stopped laughing and held his breath, letting it out in a rush as Jack licked slowly up his spine.</div> <bR> <div> Moving down so he could start at Daniel's feet and work up, Jack recoated his hands and rubbed his thumbs firmly into the high arch of Daniel's right foot.  The full-body shudder let Jack know that Daniel had a thing for foot massages.  "Good?"</div> <bR> <div> "Any better and I'm gonna soil the sheets," he grunted into his folded arms.</div> <bR> <div> Jack worked slowly, methodically, applying more and more pressure as he passed the knees and dug into the heavy thigh muscles.  There was nowhere to go but up, so after another application of oil, Jack glided his hands over the pale, round flesh of Daniel's ass.  He could see Daniel's breathing speed up slightly and the half-hidden wriggle into the softness of the bed.  Drawing some confidence from that, he gently spread Daniel's legs.  In doing so, the tight pucker which had been previously hidden from sight was revealed and Jack had to physically force himself not to stop the gentle massage.</div> <bR> <div> "Do you have any idea how hot this is?" Daniel asked, his voice low and husky.  He hitched his hips up slightly to give his straining erection a little room.</div> <bR> <div> "You should see it from this angle," Jack gulped.</div> <bR> <div> "I really hope you aren't planning on doing the front, too," Daniel breathed.</div> <bR> <div> "I was, why?" Jack asked as he drew an oiled finger down the cleft before him.</div> <bR> <div> "I won't be able to last, Jack," Daniel said plainly.</div> <bR> <div> Jack circled the tight hole with his finger, leaving it glossy and shining, then rubbed the oil in firmly.  "I'm not asking you to," he said, leaning forward as though in a trance and placing a kiss just at the end of Daniel's tailbone.</div> <bR> <div> "Ahhh . . . fuck!" Daniel yelped.</div> <bR> <div> "Things are about to get very intense, here," Jack warned.  "If you want to back out, you better tell me now."</div> <bR> <div> Daniel flipped over onto his back and grabbed his throbbing cock in his fist.  "Does this look like I want to back out?"</div> <bR> <div> Jack just grinned.  "I wasn't done back there yet."</div> <bR> <div> "You're gonna fuckin' kill me," Daniel moaned and rolled back over, raising to his knees in the process.</div> <bR> <div> "Nah, just make you feel like you're dyin'," Jack said as he lay down over Daniel's back, his hands sliding up to run over Daniel's tense, quivering stomach.  Jack licked up to an ear as one hand slid over a hip and into the warm cleft.  He pushed the tip of his finger just inside the tight hole.</div> <bR> <div> Daniel gave a loud bark of pleasure and pushed Jack's other hand down to grasp his dick.  Jack complied, marveling at the feel of having another man's cock in his hand.  Carefully he thrust his finger in and out in the same rhythm he pumped the full, straining cock.  With a low, throaty groan, he bit lightly just below Daniel's earlobe.</div> <bR> <div> Daniel was awash in sensation, his entire body begging for release from the sweet torture being inflicted.  Jack's ministrations were enough to inflame, but not enough to finish him.  He pushed himself back onto Jack's finger, then forward into his hand . . . over and over until he was moaning almost continually.</div> <bR> <div> Finally Jack's gentle hands steered him over onto his back.  He lay in a sweaty heap, panting and rampant.  He felt warm oil being trickled over his groin and he watched as Jack moved in close, lining up his body to fit <I>just so</I> with his.</div> <bR> <div> "God, Jack . . . please," Daniel begged, rubbing himself desperately up against Jack's hard, hairy body.</div> <bR> <div> Jack descended slowly and Daniel found he couldn't look away as the liquid brown eyes got closer and closer.  Jack undulated his hips slowly, maddeningly, into Daniel's, making sure their cocks stroked and ground against each other.  Daniel could feel Jack's balls pressing against his, drawing up, getting tight.</div> <bR> <div> "God!" he grunted, slapping his hands over Jack's ass and hauling him closer.</div> <bR> <div> "I want you to come when I kiss you," Jack breathed, mere inches away from Daniel.</div> <bR> <div> "Jack," Daniel whispered as the warm lips closed over his.  A second later, he was shouting his release into Jack's mouth, coming so hard he ached with the intensity of it.  It was the last thing he remembered.</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> "SG-1, you have a go," came Hammond's voice over the speakers in the debarkation room.</div> <bR> <div> "Alright kids, we're off to see the wizard," Jack said as he adjusted his hat.  "Carter, take point."</div> <bR> <div> "Yes, sir," smiled the woman as they headed up the ramp.</div> <bR> <div> "Daniel."</div> <bR> <div> "Hmm?"</div> <bR> <div> "You're with me."  Jack watched as Daniel smiled just as he headed into the worm hole.</div> <bR> <div> Jack's world settled into place once again.</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> ~finis~</div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="mailto:claforce@plotexpo.com" TARGET="_top" TITLE="mailto:claforce@plotexpo.com"><U>Give the author's ego a marshmallow . . . please feed the bear.</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id3_sg1_slash.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Stargate SG1 Slash Fiction"><U>Back to Fic List</U></A>     <A HREF="id2_directory.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Directory Listing"><U>Back to Directory</U></A></div> </td> <td valign="top" rowspan="2" width=120 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="01178643.jpg"> <bR> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" height=52 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="00f64643.jpg"> <div> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="0" CELLSPACING="0" WIDTH="161" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" 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