What Now?

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" rowspan="2" width=160 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="012a0643.jpg"> <bR> </td> <td valign="top" height=435 colspan=2 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="00f64643.jpg"> <div> <B>What Now?</B></div> <div>  <A NAME="what_now"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A></div> <div> Ten steps in one direction.  Flex both hands - try to get them to stop shaking.  Turn.  Ten steps back.  Over and over.  The sun coming in through the double windows was warm against his skin, against the soft jersey of the turtle neck.  He felt the sun on his black slacks, making the silk blend shine slightly.  Nervous.  Very nervous.</div> <bR> <div> Ten steps.  Flex.  Ten steps.</div> <bR> <div> What if he didn't come?</div> <bR> <div> Ten steps.  Flex.  Ten steps.</div> <bR> <div> What if he did?</div> <bR> <div> Ten steps.  Flex.  Ten steps.</div> <bR> <div> This was a stupid risk for both of them.  He knew it.  A career and a reputation were at stake - both of theirs - equally.</div> <bR> <div> Ten steps.  Flex.  Ten steps.</div> <bR> <div> Ten steps.  Flex.  Ten steps.  Stop.</div> <bR> <div> A glass of scotch would be good.  He looked down at the mini-bar and smiled at his forethought.  If this didn't turn out well, he knew he'd turn to the oblivion only strong drink could give.  If it did turn out well, then things would be eased along by the relaxing properties of the liquor.  Right now, he just needed to calm down.</div> <bR> <div> Pouring a double, he stepped up to the large French doors that led out to the private balcony.  Spring.  Everything was in bloom - a riot of color on the steep hills that led to the snow covered peaks of the Rocky Mountains.  Clouds scudded through valleys just released from winter's grip.  He raised the glass to his lips, taking a deep drink and letting the liquid burn its fire down his throat and into his chest.  He let out a hissing breath.  He was glad he sprang for the good stuff - it went down smooth.</div> <bR> <div> He looked at his watch for the first time since entering the room.  He was surprised at his own restraint.  Five minutes till four.  Another hour.  He finished his drink and set the glass down carefully on the table behind him.  Another hour.  Now what?</div> <bR> <div> He'd showered - twice.  He'd dressed.  Three times.  He'd watched tv, read, listened to some music, tried to doze - none of it helped.  He was stretched tighter than a drum and he didn't know how to unwind.</div> <bR> <div> Everyone touted laying your cards out on the table - making your feelings known - said the 'other person' had a right to know how you felt.  He shook his head.  They were idiots.  He never should have left the letter.  Never should have laid out this plan and, in doing so, carved the path straight to his heart.  Never should have done it - everyone would be safer and happier without the knowledge.  What had he been thinking?  What had spurred him on?  Did he actually expect the feelings to be returned?  He shook his head.  He must be crazy.</div> <bR> <div> Turning to survey the room, he realized the enormity of his assumption.  He stood in the middle of the Cheyenne Suite, surrounded by accommodations that were costing him nearly one thousand dollars a night.  The bed in the next room was covered in a featherbed mattress, there was a goose down comforter waiting to warm him, linen sheets with a thread count so high he'd forgotten the number, chilled wines, fresh cheese, massage oils . . . you name it and it was here - not to mention the spectacular view - and all of it on spec.  He felt like an absolute fool.</div> <bR> <div> He walked around the room, taking in the heavy marble, the plush carpets . . . the fireplace.  He gritted his teeth as he stared at the carefully laid scene in front of the fireplace.  A bottle of ridiculously priced champagne currently chilling in a bucket of fresh ice, two crystal glasses, two fluffy pillows - and for what?</div> <bR> <div> Turning back to the window he crossed his arms over his chest and picked a spot on the horizon to stare at, his mind falling into a fuzzy haze that was so much easier to deal with than the pain of his folly.  He watched as the shadows lengthened on the park-like setting before him, watched as lights came on slowly, one by one in the buildings below.  With each light, his heart grew just that little bit colder . . . his grip on his emotions just that little bit harder to keep.  He didn't bother looking at his watch now - it was well past the time he'd set in his invitation.  Room service would be coming soon - he'd pre-ordered dinner in.  The thought of food made him swallow hard.  There was no way he could eat.  The knock on the door sounded hollow and thick at the same time.  That was it then - the final humiliation.  Dinner for two - delivered to an audience of one.</div> <bR> <div> He moved toward the door and opened it carefully, looking down to see the expectant face of the young man from the hotel.  He stepped aside and let him in, let him do what he was paid to do.  After a few minutes he slipped a ten dollar bill into the young man's hand and thanked him for his service and slowly closed the door after him.</div> <bR> <div> "You planning on eating all that alone?"</div> <bR> <div> Yanking open the door quickly, he saw the twinkling eyes that had given his world meaning smiling back at him.  "I was hoping for some company."</div> <bR> <div> "Will I do?"</div> <bR> <div> A nod and suddenly the room was filled with a presence at once familiar and foreign.  "I'd assumed you weren't . . ."</div> <bR> <div> "The one night I try and leave early is the one night they pull an emergency meeting," came the slightly bashful reply.  "Murphy.  Damn him."</div> <bR> <div> An answering smile was all that was needed to ease the tension.  "Can I take your coat?"</div> <bR> <div> The jacket was slipped off and handed over before both men were seated at the table overlooking the mountains as the last of the sunset turned the tops crimson orange.</div> <bR> <div> "You gave up so soon?"</div> <bR> <div> A shrug followed by a pleading look.  "I didn't really know what to think."</div> <bR> <div> "I'm sorry I kept you waiting," came the quiet answer.  "And I'm sorry about tonight, too."</div> <bR> <div> Both smiled and raised their glasses of wine.  "No more wasted time."</div> <bR> <div> "No.  No more."</div> <bR> <div> The tinkle of real crystal sounded and both men settled down to eat, enjoying a leisurely meal, talking of past times - good times.  Soft laughter sounded, eyes grew accustomed to seeing each other in a different light.  With dinner finished, a hand was extended and taken.  The champagne was opened and conversation grew quieter as two bodies so long held in denial learned it was acceptable, desirable, to recline in close proximity to the other.  Brief touches, warm smiles, a growing peace and certainty about what had been started.</div> <bR> <div> "How long do you have the room for?"</div> <bR> <div> "The full five days," came the answer before the last of the sparkling wine was sipped.</div> <bR> <div> "Obviously a bigger bank account than mine."</div> <bR> <div> A shy shrug.  "Worth it."</div> <bR> <div> "Yeah?"</div> <bR> <div> An affirming nod.</div> <bR> <div> "Even when you didn't know for sure?"</div> <bR> <div> "Worth the chance."</div> <bR> <div> At last lips touched, caressed.  Tongues that had barked out harsh insults and cutting remarks now licked and tasted and found a partner in a slow dance of seduction.  Arms and legs wrapped sensuously around strong chests and hips, as the dance grew in intensity.</div> <bR> <div> "We should make use of that bed in the other room."</div> <bR> <div> "Damn fine idea."</div> <bR> <div> Whispers against skin as clothing was shed; touches that felt like the tip of a flame; breath that came in heated gusts against sensitive flesh brought to life under hands and lips . . . it all merged together until bodies were entwined and woven into one.</div> <bR> <div> Then  . . . cataclysm.  Emotions torn free by the sheer force of their own weight - need and want for so long buried and denied demanded their voice as they tore from throats made raw with moaning.  And afterward - complete and total silence, broken only by the ragged gasps of stunned amazement as two souls tried to piece themselves back together in the aftermath of the conflagration.</div> <bR> <div> Night - black and silent, covering the land and its inhabitants like a shroud - keeping secrets safe.  Words murmured in starlight and moonglow - promises exchanged and understandings reached.  Peace carried on midnight's wings before sleep claimed its rightful place until dawn.</div> <bR> <div> As morning's tendrils crept silently over the mountains, blue eyes opened slowly to look into brown and a first smile was shared.</div> <bR> <div> "Hey."</div> <bR> <div> "Hey yourself."  A tentative hand reached for the broad, silver-haired chest.  "How long you been awake?"</div> <bR> <div> "Few minutes.  I was having a moment."</div> <bR> <div> Both men laughed.</div> <bR> <div> "Gonna tell me my hair is like burnished gold in the morning sun?"</div> <bR> <div> "Actually, I was gonna ask if you knew that you drooled when you slept."</div> <bR> <div> More laughter and it felt - free.</div> <bR> <div> "You want to get up?" Daniel asked, craning his head to look at the clock.  It was barely six in the morning.</div> <bR> <div> "No," Jack said, pulling him closer.  "I was just watching."</div> <bR> <div> Daniel released a long, slow breath as he looked over Jack's shoulder and out the window.  "Funny."</div> <bR> <div> "What's that?" Jack asked, his eyes already closed and his face relaxed as he began to drift back toward sleep.</div> <bR> <div> "Under that mountain out there . . . none of this exists.  We've lived so long fighting death in its shadow - we've forgotten how to live in it.  I'm ready to live for awhile."</div> <bR> <div> "So what now?" asked Jack as he settled Daniel comfortably against him.</div> <bR> <div> "Don't know," Daniel yawned.  "Don't care.  We have this.  That's enough."</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> - finis -</div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="mailto:claforce@plotexpo.com" TARGET="_top" TITLE="mailto:claforce@plotexpo.com"><U>Give the author's ego a marshmallow . . . please feed the bear.</U></A></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id3_sg1_slash.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Stargate SG1 Slash Fiction"><U>Back to Fic List</U></A>     <A HREF="id2_directory.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Directory Listing"><U>Back to Directory</U></A></div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=45 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="00f64643.jpg"> <div> <B> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="0" CELLSPACING="0" WIDTH="161" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=CENTER HEIGHT= 45 ><NOBR><div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="39" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" WIDTH="29"></div> </NOBR></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP><NOBR><div> <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Plotexpo.com"><U><B><IMG SRC="0181d270.jpg" border=0 width="29" height="39" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></U></A></div> </NOBR></tD> <tD VALIGN=CENTER WIDTH="15"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="45" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="15" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></tD> <tD VALIGN=CENTER><NOBR><div> <A HREF="id36.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Of Sausage Dogs and Flannel Jammies..."><U><B><IMG SRC="017271d0.jpg" border=0 width="39" height="29" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></U></A></div> </NOBR></tD> <tD VALIGN=CENTER><NOBR><div> <A HREF="id38.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Me Too"><U><B><IMG SRC="016271d0.jpg" border=0 width="39" height="29" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></U></A></div> </NOBR></tD> </tR> </TABLE></B></div> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>