Of One Mind

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" rowspan="2" width=120 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="01078642egerdp.jpg"> <bR> </td> <td valign="top" height=428 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="00f64643.jpg"> <div> <B>Of One Mind</B></div> <div> Written for the 2007 Jack/Daniel Ficathon for Starting_Gate...and it's two months late.  OY!!  Hope you enjoy it anyway!</div> <bR> <div>  <A NAME="of_one_mind"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A>Pain flared where Jack's shoulder hit the wall.  Legs and knees buckled as he slid to the cold concrete.  There was no need to look up to know there were weapons trained on him as Daniel was dragged from the cell.  Nothing left to do but wait.</div> <bR> <div> Waves of nausea began about an hour later.  Managing not to vomit what little was in his stomach was a small victory by the time Daniel was literally thrown back into the cell.  "You okay?"</div> <bR> <div> "Not so much, no," Daniel answered.  Hands splayed on the wall, he managed to get himself into a sitting position.  "We need to get out of here."</div> <bR> <div> "You don't say," Jack drawled.</div> <bR> <div> "You don't understand.  I caught a few of the words this time around.  Oh god."  Daniel gripped his midsection.</div> <bR> <div> "Try and fight it," Jack said blandly.  "The longer you can hold off dehydration the better."</div> <bR> <div> "Yeah, okay," was the only acknowledgment between panted breaths.</div> <bR> <div> "What'd you hear them say?"</div> <bR> <div> "Something...something about memories and viewing or...seeing, I guess would be a better term."</div> <bR> <div> "They stick something in our heads or what?" Jack asked.</div> <bR> <div> Daniel nodded slowly.  "I woke up before they were done."</div> <bR> <div> The wince on Jack's face said it all.  "The lump on the back of my head?"</div> <bR> <div> "Yes," Daniel said.  "We have to get out of here before we give them any information."</div> <bR> <div> "I don't think we have a lot of options," Jack muttered.  "I haven't seen less than six show up at a time."</div> <bR> <div> "Sam and Teal'c..."</div> <bR> <div> "Let's get some sleep.  Try and get some strength back."</div> <bR> <div> Waking for the second time proved confusing.  Gone was the grimy gray of the stone cell.  They'd been stripped of their clothes and scrubbed down with something slightly antiseptic smelling and each was laying on a white bed fastened securely to the wall.  The walls were white.  The ceiling was white.  The floor was white.  And it was warm - quite warm.  A small basin in the corner was obviously for waste and a small slot in the door would probably be where they were served their food.</div> <bR> <div> Jack sat up slowly.  A raging headache was pounding behind his eyes.</div> <bR> <div> "The headache goes away once you get up and move around a bit," Daniel said.  Dressed in the same white garments he was, Jack noticed the slightly haunted look on his face.</div> <bR> <div> "What?"</div> <bR> <div> "I know what the devices do."</div> <bR> <div> A chill ran down Jack's back.</div> <bR> <div> Daniel swallowed before he continued.  "I could see your dreams."</div> <bR> <div> Jack felt the world spin slightly.  "You're kidding me."</div> <bR> <div> Daniel shook his head.  "Seems we get the pleasure of each other's company in more than just a physical sense."</div> <bR> <div> "Fuck."  The sound of Jack's head hitting the wall behind him made a dull thud.  "I can't begin to express how completely <I>pissed off</I> I am about this!" he shouted to the room in general.</div> <bR> <div> "I'm in the same boat as you," Daniel muttered.  "Shouting about it won't help.  Nor will trying to break the device in our heads.  I already tried that and they, uh...stopped me."</div> <bR> <div> Jack narrowed his eyes.</div> <bR> <div> "The devices deliver quite a little jolt to the wearer's nervous system.  Very unpleasant."</div> <bR> <div> Jack stood in the middle of the room, hands on hips, looking around him slowly.</div> <bR> <div> "Walls are seamless.  I've already been over them twice.  If they want to talk to us, they use some sort of built in view screen."</div> <bR> <div> Jack looked down at where Daniel sat on the cot.  "Why was I out so much longer than you?"</div> <bR> <div> "You gave them a little trouble during the transfer."</div> <bR> <div> "Ah."</div> <bR> <div> "This wasn't what we agreed to."</div> <bR> <div> "I know that, Daniel."</div> <bR> <div> "Surely Hammond..."</div> <bR> <div> "We don't even know if we're on the same planet anymore."</div> <bR> <div> "I know I was pretty fuzzy on the language, but..."</div> <bR> <div> "Daniel, quit trying to figure out where it all went wrong.  These bastards were liars from the start."</div> <bR> <div> <I>'You dirty fucker, you said you'd leave him alone!'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'We do and say whatever we have to in order to drive the infidel intruders from our home.'</I></div> <bR> <div> Jack winced and rubbed his head.  "What the hell?"  When he glanced at Daniel, he saw the same pained expression.</div> <bR> <div> "I'm going to assume that was from your time in Iraq?"</div> <bR> <div> Jack sat down slowly on his bed.  "Oh shit."</div> <bR> <div> "Yeah."</div> <bR> <div> "There has to be a way to block it," Jack said.</div> <bR> <div> Daniel just shook his head.  "It's like a constant stream of consciousness once it gets going.  Did you know you dream in color?"</div> <bR> <div> <I>Blood.  Stone.  Screams.  Blood...and stone...and screams...and blood and stone and screams and bloodandstoneandscreamsandblood.</I></div> <bR> <div> "Stop it!" Jack yelled.</div> <bR> <div> "I'm not doing anything," Daniel said calmly.  "You will see whatever radomly flits through my mind whether I'm purposely trying to think of something else or not.  And I am sorry but I tend to think about the day my parents died a lot.  I always have.  I'm afraid I always will."</div> <bR> <div> <I>'C'mon Marianne, just a little more.'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'I said no, Jon.'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'You can't leave me like this again.  We've been goin' out for three months.'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'My mom says that good girls don't and you want me to be a good girl, don't you, Jon?'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'Right now, no, I don't.'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'Maybe one day, once you finally show me you're serious...'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'I'm going to the Academy in the fall...I can't...we can't...I can't promise you that now.'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'If I knew you loved me, maybe I wouldn't have to be such a good girl all the time.  And then you could tell all those boys at the Academy that you've got a little woman waiting at home...and one day I could be an officer's wife.'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>It was so easy to hold her down, get on top of her and get her panties aside.  She wasn't very big and she didn't fight very hard, but the screaming...he couldn't make her stop screaming and he ran.  Ran and ran and ran all the way home.  He never talked to her again, and it was a miracle she never said anything and ruined his chances at the Academy.</I></div> <bR> <div> Daniel turned wide blue eyes to Jack's face.  Jack turned away in shame.</div> <bR> <div> "If they're recording this," Daniel said sullenly, "then we're both finished back home."</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> <I>'I want to try it.'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'Daniel, you have no idea what you're talking about.'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'You think so?  I've spent more time with Ms. Gloria's toys in my ass than she has.'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>Both boys laughed quietly.</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'I hope you at least wash them before you put them back.'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'Most times.'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'That's so wrong!'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>More laughter.</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'C'mon, Bret.  I want this.  I want you to do it.'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'Yeah?'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'Yeah.  You know I'm leaving tomorrow.  We won't see each other again and I may never get another chance.'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'I thought you liked girls.'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'I like both.  C'mon, I know you want to.  I can see your hard-on from here.'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'What if they hear?'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'We'll be real quiet.  We can go up the secret way to the attic.  I've got a little bed built up there.'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'Okay, but only if you're sure.'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'Yeah, I'm sure.'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>The attic was close and warm, but clean.  Blankets were laid down in a corner that overlooked the back yard.  Daniel was naked before Bret even got all the way up the stairs.</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'Jesus, Danny, you in a hurry?'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'When you come, I want you to come inside me, okay?'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'Ewww.'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'No, really, I want you to.'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'Okay man, it's your ass.  Don't you have to slick up or something?'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'Already have.'  Daniel dropped down on his knees and forearms, legs wide.  'Just grease up and shove it in.'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>Bret did as he was told and Daniel fought the groan of pain that threatened to burst forth.</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'You okay, man?"</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'Stings a little.'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'I don't want to hurt you, Danny.'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'It's okay.  It always hurts.  It'll get better.  C'mon, we can't spend much time at this.'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>It didn't take long until Bret was shooting deep inside him.</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'Oh man, there's blood on my dick, Danny.  I tore you!'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'Ssssshhhh, shut up!  It's fine.  I've got a tight ass, that's all.  It always bleeds some.'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'Man, this ain't right.  It just ain't right.'</I></div> <bR> <div> Daniel snapped out of his doze and felt the pit fall out of his stomach.  He heard Jack swear under his breath and turn away from him.</div> <bR> <div> And this was only the beginning.</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> <I>Lips sweet, red and hot, sliding effortlessly up and down his straining cock; just the right suction, just the right amount of tongue, probing into the slit of his dick on every upstroke.  He clamped his arms around the tiny waist and pulled the hips down farther, the wet, pliable warmth of folds and clit and juice pressing down into his face in rhythm with the blowjob he was getting.  It didn't get any better than this.  He swirled his tongue and sucked and licked and moaned and came...god how he came...every single time and as soon as the first spurt flew out of him he'd feel her tense and throb and groan and grind down onto his face and he *loved* it.  He'd suck her clit until she came a second time then lick up all the sweetness until she couldn't stand it any more and roll off of him in a laughing heap.</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'Sugar, you could give lessons in how to please a woman properly.'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>Eyes as dark as a hot summer night would smile down on him as she delicately wiped the remaining traces of him from her full, soft mouth.</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'Why Doctor Fraiser, you're going to make me blush.'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>She'd laugh and lean down and kiss him and lick the wetness from his face and kiss him more and nuzzle him until he was begging his cock to get hard just one more time.</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'Where the hell have you been all my life, Major?' she'd ask him every time.</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'Same place you've been.'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'The wrong place,' they'd both say and laugh.</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'So you give this sort of attention to all your patients?'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'Just the drop dead handsome ones.'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'Makes me wish I'd waited.'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'Yeah,' she'd smile.  'Me too.'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'I ship out next week.'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'I know, I signed your release orders.'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'You ship out tomorrow.'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>Her eyes dimmed a bit.  'Yes.'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'Were you going to tell me?'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'No.'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'Probably best.'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'I hope one day we'll meet again under better circumstances.'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'Knowing my luck, I'll end up being your C.O.'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'And wouldn't that just *suck*?' she'd said with her southern drawl thick in her voice, then laughed again.</I></div> <bR> <div> Jack awoke with a start.  The laughing he heard was coming from Daniel.  He glared in the man's direction.</div> <bR> <div> "I literally had no idea," Daniel had said with a smile.</div> <bR> <div> "It's called *discretion*, Daniel."</div> <bR> <div> The smile remained in place as Daniel shook his head.  "You lucky bastard."</div> <bR> <div> Jack couldn't find it within him to be indignant.  "Yes.  Yes I was."</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> <I>Robes and rough linen, the smell of spice and humanity, lack of water for thorough washing and the pungent taste of his lover's body.  She arched into his touch, her groans inflamed him and he slid inside so easily.  Wet, she was always so very wet.  'Shau're,' he breathed.</I></div> <bR> <div> Jack rolled away and tried to fight back the tears.  He didn't know it was possible to love someone so completely and still survive their death.</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> <I>The crack of bone felt like flame inside his pelvis and still he refused to scream.</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'Where are the troop deployments?!'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'I. Don't.  Know!!'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>He was sure the blow to the head would end it all...they'd used a tire iron this time instead of the piece of wood.  He had a skull fracture - he knew it.</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>Blackness took him.  He never heard the choppers land in the compound.</I></div> <bR> <div> Daniel was shaking him awake.  "Jack!"</div> <bR> <div> He sat up, shoving himself into the corner of his bed as tight and small as he could.</div> <bR> <div> "Nightmare," Daniel explained raggedly.  "You were having a nightmare."</div> <bR> <div> Jack took a few steadying breaths, gulping air into his lungs and trying to slow his racing heart.  "Sorry," he finally whispered.</div> <bR> <div> "Not your fault," Daniel said quietly.</div> <bR> <div> Jack nodded.  "Yours either."  He rubbed his hands over his face and let out one, long breath.  "Look, there's something we should probably talk about before...you find out the hard way."</div> <bR> <div> "I already know."</div> <bR> <div> Jack felt himself pale.  "Oh."</div> <bR> <div> "You've dreamed about me for the last few nights.  Our walls . . . defenses . . . they've been just about warn away.  There can't be any kind of secrets anymore."</div> <bR> <div> Jack nodded.  "Sorry."</div> <bR> <div> Daniel lay his hand, warm and steady, on Jack's arm.  "I'm not."</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> <I>'You've done this before?'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>Daniel barely heard the words.  His mind was flooded with sensation from the hands and the kisses and the gentle, gentle way he was being handled and loved.  'Yes...no...a couple times but not...not...'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>The smile above him was tender and understanding.  'I'll make it good.  I won't hurt you.'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'Always hurts,' Daniel heard himself whisper before leaning in for more of the kisses that had him so high...so very high.</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'Not this time,' was the response.</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>Then there were fingers and easy pressure and ... oh... right there was so good.  'Yes,' he breathed and spread his legs and asked for more.</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'You love this, don't you?'</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>'Just there,' Daniel begged, holding the hand between his legs and working himself down onto the fingers inside him.</I></div> <div> <I>Soft whiskers from a beard rubbed against his chest before a nipple was carefully sucked in and nibbled upon.  The rumbling laugh from the other man was like music...low and deep and meaningful.</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>The fullness, when it came, was just like the rest of it...slow and sensual and easy.  Daniel felt his body give way and he groaned in pleasure.  When he opened his eyes, it should have been to a face much older, with a full graying beard and dark green eyes...</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>But instead, the face was lean, handsome, the hair graying but still mostly dark and the eyes...the eyes the color of smokey amber with mirth and mischief in them and...love.  So much love it shattered him and he came with a loud cry.  "Jack........"</I></div> <bR> <div> Daniel awoke as the last of his orgasm shook through his body.  He threw his arms over his eyes and breathed through the aftershocks.  "You don't have to pretend you're asleep over there.  I know you heard that."  He grit his teeth and tried to calm his breathing.  He turned his head at the sound of rustling material.</div> <bR> <div> Jack had pulled off his tunic top and was cleaning himself up roughly.  "So," he said, throwing the soiled shirt into a corner, "mutual then."</div> <bR> <div> Daniel's sardonic laugh was the only sound in the room.</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> "Incoming wormhole," Walter called out.</div> <bR> <div> Sam ran up the stairs to the control room, Teal'c close behind her.  "IDC?"</div> <bR> <div> "It's General Hammond's," Walter answered, slightly surprised.</div> <bR> <div> "Open the iris," Sam ordered.  "Get some medical teams to the gate room A-S-A-P."</div> <bR> <div> "Yes, ma'am," Walter acknowledged, hurrying to comply.</div> <bR> <div> Teal'c sprinted back downstairs as Sam waited in the control room, her hands hovering over the keys in case she had to enact any type of override.</div> <bR> <div> When she saw General Hammond literally fall out of the even horizon, she hit the full alert button.  "Second security teams to the gateroom!" she shouted.</div> <bR> <div> "Travelers still inbound," Walter advised.</div> <bR> <div> SFs poured into the debarkation room, guns trained on the gate.</div> <bR> <div> Daniel was the next to appear, followed by O'Neill.  They landed with sickening thuds on the ramp, rolling down and nearly off the sides.</div> <bR> <div> "Close the iris," Sam ordered.  She waited until it had sealed before allowing herself to run down the stairs.</div> <bR> <div> Teal'c was helping a medic team place General Hammond carefully on a gurney.  The then turned his attention to O'Neill who had an ugly gash on the side of his head from his impact with the ramp.</div> <bR> <div> "What the hell happened?" she questioned as she helped the third medic team attend to Daniel.</div> <bR> <div> "All three have fresh head wounds," Teal'c informed her.  "They do not appear to be caused from any sort of accidental trauma."</div> <bR> <div> "Surgery?" she asked.</div> <bR> <div> He only gave her a dark look.  She turned to look up at the control room.  "Lock all three IDCs out of the computer and lock that gate address out of our dialing protocols."</div> <bR> <div> "Yes, ma'am," Walter said, all to eager to follow the order.</div> <bR> <div> "How many teams do we have off-world?"</div> <bR> <div> "Three, ma'am."</div> <bR> <div> "Get them back here and run security program Roger Bravo seven six nine."</div> <bR> <div> She watched as Hammond, Daniel and O'Neill were wheeled from the gate room.</div> <bR> <div> "This is bad, Teal'c," she said before making her way back up to the control room.</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> "You've secured the base?" Hammond asked, his voice barely above a whisper.</div> <bR> <div> "Yes, sir," Sam nodded.  "We recalled what off-world teams there were and set up the new security protocols immediately.  We've changed all the codes, locked out all the old IDCs.  Once we're certain there's no further threat from the Roothmau're, we'll contact our allies and arrange for new security acces."</div> <bR> <div> "Very well."  Hammond relaxed back into the pillows.</div> <bR> <div> "Sir, what happened out there?"</div> <bR> <div> Hammond's face grew grim.  "I believe that will be a private debrief between my first exec and myself after which time I will be taking an extended period of time off."</div> <bR> <div> "Yes, sir.  I understand."</div> <bR> <div> "I seriously doubt that, Major."  He began to shake and he looked anywhere but at Carter.</div> <bR> <div> Sam left the man to his rest and saw Janet Fraiser waiting quietly outside her office.  Janet closed the door once they were inside.</div> <bR> <div> "I've never seen them like this," Sam said.  "None of them will talk about what happened."</div> <bR> <div> "We know that they underwent two neurosurgical procedures in a very short amount of time.  All three are suffering from some short term memory loss, blurred vision, anxiety, just to name a few.  Judging by where the wounds were, they had devices implanted that would access that portion of the brain which controls memory.  Other than that, I can't say what happened."</div> <bR> <div> "General Hammond's planning on taking some time off," Sam said.  "Do you think that's wise, considering what he's undergone?  He could be an even bigger security risk than either the Colonel or Daniel."</div> <bR> <div> "From what we can tell, all three men are in full control of themselves and their mental faculties.  They are calm, lucid, if a little exhausted and undernourished, and in satisfactory physical condition.  All three of them are treating this as a high security issue, and I can't really fault them for that."  Janet leaned tiredly on her desk.  "They are cooperating fully right up to the point of saying what those devices allowed them, or forced them, to experience.  At that point, they refuse to answer any further."</div> <bR> <div> "The NID's already gotten wind of this.  I understand Colonel Simmons is on his way."  Sam shook her head.  "How can I protect them if I don't know what went on?"</div> <bR> <div> "Maybe this time, you can't," Janet said.  "You'll just have to leave it to them to handle things."</div> <bR> <div> "That doesn't mean I have to make it easy on him, either."  Sam stood.  "You'll let me know if anything changes with them?"</div> <bR> <div> Janet smiled understandingly and nodded.</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> Jack carried the last of the groceries into the cabin and started putting them away.  He wasn't surprised in the least when the phone rang.  "Simmons, you can go straight to hell," he said after snatching the handset out of the cradle.</div> <bR> <div> "Let me tell you something, Colonel," Simmons all but spat over the phone, "you and your little band of miscreants won't keep me from finding out what went on back on that planet and how to get my hands on that technology."</div> <bR> <div> "Gonna be a cold day in hell," Jack growled.  "Now leave me the hell alone.  I'm on vacation."</div> <bR> <div> "Yes, do enjoy your time away, Colonel."</div> <bR> <div> The line went dead and Jack went to hang up the phone.  He paused, then ripped the entire unit from the wall.  As he wound the cord around the broken plastic bits, he walked outside, onto the dock, then tossed it as far out into the lake as he could.  He could get a new one tomorrow if he really wanted to...which he wouldn't.  He had a drunken stupor to fall into.</div> <bR> <div> It was three days later when he awoke to the sound of someone shuffling around in his kitchen.  He staggered out of his bedroom to find Daniel standing over the stove, shoving something involving onions and potatoes around in a pan.</div> <bR> <div> "What the hell are you doing here?"</div> <bR> <div> Daniel barely turned to look.  "Fixing breakfast. The drive up here from the airport's a bitch and I'm starving."</div> <bR> <div> "Really bad idea for you to be here," Jack said, grateful beyond words that there was coffee made.</div> <bR> <div> "It would have been if I hadn't talked to the Asgard first."  Daniel pointed at the kitchen table.  A small cardboard box held a little mountain of electronic listening devices and in the center of them was a small, triangular device that was blinking slowly.  "Simmons is probably pulling his hair out trying to figure out why none of his snoop tactics are working."</div> <bR> <div> "Well, except for seeing you drive up here."</div> <bR> <div> "Not so much," Daniel said as he shook the pan over the heat.  "Thor gave me one for the car, and one for me.  Personal cloaks.  You remember, like the ones you found in that cave during the sting operation."</div> <bR> <div> "Gave you those, did he?"</div> <bR> <div> "He did."</div> <bR> <div> "Well isn't that big of him?"  Jack sat down tiredly at the table.  "You gonna answer my question?"</div> <bR> <div> "What am I doing here?"</div> <bR> <div> "That'd be the one."</div> <bR> <div> "I think that should be obvious."</div> <bR> <div> "Not gonna happen, Daniel."</div> <bR> <div> "Why do you say that?"</div> <bR> <div> "Because what you dream about and what you do in real life are two different things."</div> <bR> <div> "You're telling me that after what we just went through, you're going to try and bullshit me about how you feel?"</div> <bR> <div> "Nope.  There'd be no point.  But I am telling you that I'm not going to act on those feelings."  Jack stood up.  "And neither are you."</div> <bR> <div> "You'd be wrong about that," Daniel said firmly.  "I spent the better part of two weeks inside your head, Jack.  I know better than anyone how much you want this.  How much you've always wanted something like this but you were afraid to *ever* try it."</div> <bR> <div> "Just for argument's sake, I'm going to say that I think it's shitty that you're using things that were basically found out during a mental rape for your own purposes."</div> <bR> <div> "That is nowhere close to fair," Daniel objected.</div> <bR> <div> "If this had never happened, and I would have just come up here on vacation, would you be here right now?"</div> <bR> <div> "That's not the point."</div> <bR> <div> "Yes, it is.  You wouldn't know what you know about me, and you wouldn't be here right now.  Even for you this is pretty low class, Daniel."</div> <bR> <div> "What the hell does that mean?"</div> <bR> <div> Jack gave him a long look.  "Let's not forget, I was inside your head, too.  I know the darkness you've got hidden away in there."</div> <bR> <div> Daniel dished up his food, tossed the plate down on the table and gave Jack a belligerent look.  "So it doesn't matter that I know and I want the same thing - as you well know.  You just want to go back to your nice, safe little facade."</div> <bR> <div> "This *facade*, Daniel, is about an oath and a promise, and decisions I have to make as a military commander.  I'll even go so far as to say that yes, I've wanted this for a long time and I happen to know that if I'd given you the right signals, you'd have come to heel.  But I chose not to because it was the best thing for the team."  Jack stood.  "There are things more important than personal happiness."</div> <bR> <div> Daniel shoved his plate away and sat back.  "Why didn't you and Janet ever get together after ... you both got back?"</div> <bR> <div> "We were both married," Jack said, anger evident in his voice.</div> <bR> <div> "So you'd have an affair, but not get divorces so you could be together.  Seems to me you didn't mind breaking the rules then."</div> <bR> <div> Jack had Daniel by the shirt against the wall before either of them knew what was going on.  "You manipulative little bastard," Jack growled.</div> <bR> <div> Daniel licked his lips and wrapped his hands around Jack's wrists to try and pull them away.  "I'm not the one with situational morality," he said evenly.</div> <bR> <div> "Shut.  Up."  Jack's face was ugly with rage.</div> <bR> <div> "I think you're just afraid," Daniel continued on.  "Afraid of being the 'queers' like Tommy Carlstead or Jason McMasters.  You remember them, don't you Jack?  You had crushes on them in high school."</div> <bR> <div> Jack dropped his hands and left the cabin without another word.</div> <bR> <div> Daniel closed his eyes and slid slowly to the floor.  He knew he'd gone way too far.  He also knew he never should have come to Minnesota.  Deep inside, he also knew there would never be any going back.</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> Daniel waited the remainder of that day and into the middle of the next morning before he began to panic.  Jack hadn't come back and was nowhere to be seen.  Just when he'd decided to get together a survival kit and head out after him, he saw the man ambling down the road, dirty, disheveled and a little worse for wear.</div> <bR> <div> Jack walked slowly into the cabin and looked Daniel over quickly.  "Still here I see."</div> <bR> <div> "I was about to come looking for you...have you been in a fight?"</div> <bR> <div> "Decided to take out some of my aggression on Simmons' boys.  Spent the rest of the night explaining to the Sheriff why they had to come drag six guys off my property."</div> <bR> <div> "You get 'em all?"</div> <bR> <div> Jack nodded.</div> <bR> <div> "Feel better?"</div> <bR> <div> "Yes, as a matter of fact I do."  Jack reached into the fridge and pulled out a beer.  "It was either them or you and I don't think you'd be able to explain how I kicked the shit out of you when you were supposedly hundreds of miles away."</div> <bR> <div> Daniel nodded.  "I'm sorry," he said.</div> <bR> <div> "Get a beer and sit down, Daniel," Jack said tiredly.  "You and I both know you're not going anywhere.  We've got some talking to do."</div> <bR> <div> Daniel poured himself a cup of coffee instead.  Jack grinned slightly before he collapsed down into the sofa.</div> <bR> <div> "Before you start in," Jack said, forestalling Daniel's full apology, "I just have a few things to say.  First off, this whole screwed up mess has done some pretty severe damage to our friendship which probably sucks more than anything else.  Second, if I'd wanted to act on my curiosity, I would have long before now because, god knows, I've had the opportunity.  Third, I have no desire to act on my curiosity, which is indeed different than number two.  And fourth, I do *not* want to be the poster child for all that is unjust about the American military and the don't-ask-don't-tell policy."</div> <bR> <div> Daniel sat back in the over-stuffed easy chair and nodded.  "I guess that pretty well covers what I was going to say."</div> <bR> <div> "I'm sorry if that hurts you, but that's the way it is.  I want the program more than I want...anything else."  Jack took a long drink of beer.</div> <bR> <div> "I don't understand how you can just turn down the offer of love like this, though."</div> <bR> <div> "Years of rigorous training," Jack said humorlessly.</div> <bR> <div> "Doesn't leave a lot of choice for me though, does it?"</div> <bR> <div> Jack grit his teeth.  "Daniel, if we'd never gotten captured on that god-forsaken back-water world, you'd never know the stuff swirling around in my brain.  And we wouldn't be sitting here, right now, having this conversation.  This would be a day like any other day, we'd be back at the mountain getting ready to go to ... what's its name?."</div> <bR> <div> "Kelowna."</div> <bR> <div> "That."  Jack took another long pull from his beer.  "Just because you have insider information doesn't mean you trade on it."</div> <bR> <div> "You won't even consider the possibility?"</div> <bR> <div> "No."</div> <bR> <div> "Why?"</div> <bR> <div> "I won't consider the possibility with Carter, either.  Believe me when I say I am equally as curious about her as I am about...other things.  But then, you already know that, don't you?"</div> <bR> <div> Daniel felt like he'd been slapped.  "Then I can truly say that this is probably one of my more egregious errors.  Again, I'm sorry.  I hope one day we can put things back to normal.  Or what passes as normal for us."</div> <bR> <div> Jack pursed his lips and nodded, but didn't raise his eyes to look at the other man.  "I'm gonna go get cleaned up.  You need the bathroom before I get in there?"</div> <bR> <div> "No."  Daniel finished his coffee.</div> <bR> <div> "And no, you're not leaving.  Not that the last few weeks haven't been just *peachy* but we need to set a few things to right before we can even consider going back out in the field as a team again.  If we can't straighten things out..."</div> <bR> <div> "I know," Daniel said.  "I'll stay."</div> <bR> <div> "Consider why you want to stay and work this through," Jack said softly.  "If you're still here when I get out, we'll talk."  Jack heaved himself to his feet tiredly.</div> <bR> <div> Daniel watched Jack disappear into the back part of the cabin.  His mind, however, was already turning over Jack's words.  Of course he wanted to work things out - there was no question.  They'd had a huge breach between them, forced on them by an outside agency, but a breach nevertheless.  Daniel knew if he wanted to continue to be a functioning member of an off-world team, he'd have to...</div> <bR> <div> It was the program first, other things second.  It was continuing on with the mission, continuing to go off-world, continuing what he'd started.</div> <bR> <div> That was when he knew.  He knew that Jack was making the same decision.  It was about the program - not about them.  It couldn't be about them.  No more than it could ever be about Sam and Jack.  Or Jack and Janet.  Or any other possible combination that might come up.  Jack made the choices he made for the program, not for himself.</div> <bR> <div> Daniel realized with a wash of guilt, that he'd come here to turn that around - get Jack to choose his wants over and above his needs.  And he was using ill-gotten knowledge to accomplish that goal.  Daniel sat back, clasped his hands together and wondered when he'd ever manage to pull his head out of his ass long enough to see the bigger picture of what was around him.</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> Daniel left early the next morning, their 'non-conversation' of the previous night playing in his head.  Jack had cooked dinner, done dishes, offered a game or three of chess.  For the first time since Daniel had met him, Jack had made himself available for conversation.  Daniel had merely shaken his head at that offer as well, instead saying he'd understood, he'd agreed with Jack's position.  After another apology, he excused himself to bed then woken before dawn, thrown the box full of listening devices in the lake, taken his cloaking device and driven back to Colorado Springs.</div> <bR> <div> When Jack awoke that morning, he couldn't remember a time when he'd felt so alone.</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> General Hammond motioned to the two men to sit down in the chairs across from his desk.  Jack closed the door behind him before taking his seat.</div> <bR> <div> "As I'm sure you are aware, I am...unsettled by the experience we've had."</div> <bR> <div> Jack pulled a face and turned his face away from Hammond.  <I>I knew it,</I> he thought.  </div> <bR> <div> "My concern at this time, is keeping the NID out of this command."  Hammond's lazy Texas drawl let Daniel know just how wound up the man truly was.  <I>Shit, I knew it, </I>Daniel thought.</div> <bR> <div> "We received a type of...data burst from that god-forsaken planet just before we came back through the wormhole.  That transmission carried the recorded memories, thoughts, and dreams of both of you.  I had the file purged immediately from the system."  Hammond leaned forward and placed his clasped hands in front of him.  They were trembling.  "This experience has shaken me to my core, gentlemen."  His eyes grew cold.  "Apparently neither of you are exactly the men you have professed to be and I will not hide my disappointment over that."</div> <bR> <div> Jack grit his teeth so hard the muscle jumped in the side of his jaw but he held his peace.  It was going to be a long briefing.</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> "Did you see this?" Daniel asked, walking into Jack's office several weeks after their last meeting with the General.</div> <bR> <div> Jack raised his eyes from the mountains of paperwork in front of him.  "What is it?"</div> <bR> <div> "The mission schedule.  We're not on-world at the same time for the next six months.  We've been split up."  Daniel's face was flushed, his eyes flashing blue-anger as he spoke.  "He's re-arranged all the teams, reassigned people...there are six SFs standing outside his door all the time, he doesn't conduct briefings any more.  There's no explanation..."</div> <bR> <div> "I know."</div> <bR> <div> "You know?  And you're just going to sit there and..."</div> <bR> <div> "Doctor Jackson?"</div> <bR> <div> Daniel turned to see an SF standing at the door.  "Yes?"</div> <bR> <div> "I believe you should probably find your way back to your office, sir."</div> <bR> <div> "What - I'm being watched?  Followed now?"</div> <bR> <div> "I think it's just best you go on back to your office.  I understand you have a lot of work to do, and Colonel O'Neill is a very busy man."</div> <bR> <div> "This is unconscionable," Daniel barked and stormed out of the door.</div> <bR> <div> Jack watched him disappear from view before speaking.  "Lieutenant?"</div> <bR> <div> "Yes, sir?"  The young man stepped into the room and came to attention.</div> <bR> <div> "You ever do anything like that again, and I'll shoot ya."</div> <bR> <div> The SF swallowed hard as he looked into the eyes of a man who knew how to kill in more ways than he could begin to imagine...and had.</div> <bR> <div> "My orders, sir..."</div> <bR> <div> Jack stood up, walked around his desk and got in the man's space before shoving him bodily out the door and slamming the door behind him.  When Jack turned around, he knew what he had to do.  The phone felt like a cold, dead thing in his hands.</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> Janet Fraiser met Jack at the outskirts of Denver at a small café where they served breakfast all day and poured the best cup of coffee in three states.  She slid gracefully into the booth in front of Jack and looked at him levelly.  "How are you holding up?"</div> <bR> <div> "How do you think?" Jack asked, taking his sun glasses off and throwing them on the table.  The dark tinged bags under his eyes told the story.</div> <bR> <div> "Not that this will make you feel any better, but you were right."</div> <bR> <div> Jack pursed his lips and nodded.  "What's the diagnosis?"</div> <bR> <div> "Psychotic break.  Paranoid delusions.  All attributable to the episode with the implant."</div> <bR> <div> "What's going to happen?"</div> <bR> <div> Janet sat back and sighed heavily.  "I'd like to say he could just retire quietly and go on about his life, but that won't happen.  The Tok'ra have offered to help, thanks to Jacob.  General Hammond's as much a victim in all of this as you are."</div> <bR> <div> Jack nodded and sipped his coffee.  "I know."</div> <bR> <div> "I talked to Daniel before I left.  He's very angry, Jack."</div> <bR> <div> "I don't doubt it."</div> <bR> <div> "You knew right away, didn't you?"</div> <bR> <div> "George Hammond is a lot of things, but Special Ops trained to undergo a major mind-fuck...no.  Hell, Daniel and I barely got out of there with our marbles more or less intact."</div> <bR> <div> "I'm so sorry, Jack."  Janet leaned forward and took his hand.  "There's more."</div> <bR> <div> Jack raised his eyes.  "Christ, now what?"</div> <bR> <div> "The President is sending in a civilian to take over."</div> <bR> <div> "A what?"</div> <bR> <div> "I know, it sounds crazy.  We just got word today.  All gate travel is suspended, all missions scrubbed.  She's going to shut down the whole program for three months and re-assess things before making her recommendations for improvements.  This situation with General Hammond..."</div> <bR> <div> "That's it," Jack said, his voice defeated.  "I'm done."</div> <bR> <div> "I'm afraid not," Janet said.  "They requested your psyche evals and your records for the last six years.  They're going to tap you to take over once her work here is done."</div> <bR> <div> Jack shook his head.  "Nope.  Not interested."</div> <bR> <div> "Jack, you'd be such an asset..."</div> <bR> <div> "Janet," he said earnest, looking her dead in the eye, "you and I have known each other for a very, very long time.  You know me.  You know that all those years ago the only thing I wanted was to get those stars on my jacket and snag a corner office at the Pentagon.  Then Charlie...well things didn't exactly go as planned.  They gave me the universe with this program - and now they want to offer me a <I>desk job</I>?  Are they kidding?"</div> <bR> <div> "We need you."</div> <bR> <div> "If they need me, I can consult, but I'm not going through what I just went through just to have my ass kicked again.  They want someone to run this thing, they can tap Hank Landry.  He'll bring this place back up to fighting trim in no time.  But not me.  I'm done.  I made sure George got the right treatment - I owed him that.  I don't owe them any more of my life's blood than I've already given."</div> <bR> <div> Janet nodded sadly.  "You have to do what's right."</div> <bR> <div> "If I did what was right, I would have divorced Sara and stolen you away from that abusive asshole you were married to, settled down, raised some kids, and helped you build a medical practice."</div> <bR> <div> Janet blushed and gave him a little smile.  "You don't mean that, but I appreciate the sentiment."</div> <bR> <div> Jack stared off into the Colorado distance for several minutes before speaking.  "Do you have any idea what it's like to have someone inside your head like that?  Shuffling through your memories and thoughts like it was last year's tax return?  What it's like to have to look them in the eye every single day and know that they know?  It's no wonder George went off the deep end.  He got the worst of both Daniel and me.  Either one of us alone has enough baggage to kill a sane man."</div> <bR> <div> "What's that say about you?"</div> <bR> <div> "Says that I'm nuttier than your average fruit cake.  You want breakfast?"</div> <bR> <div> Janet shook her head.  "I'm actually meeting someone in Denver.  But I'll stay if you'd like me to."</div> <bR> <div> "No, you go ahead.  I'm gonna head home.  Got a six pack with my name on it."</div> <bR> <div> "It's eight o'clock in the morning, Jack."</div> <bR> <div> "You say that like it's bad thing."</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> "So who's this Elizabeth Weir?" Jack asked as they assembled in the briefing room.  He cast a look at Daniel and realized just how long since it had been to have seen him in more than just passing.</div> <bR> <div> "I've referenced her work several times," Daniel said, engrossed in the folder in front of him.</div> <bR> <div> "Master negotiator," said Mitchell, the fresh-faced Colonel who'd been brought in to head up a re-worked SG-1.  "Supposed to be an exceptionally smart cookie."</div> <bR> <div> "Looks like she's got Kinsey pulling her strings," Jack muttered as he read his briefing notes.</div> <bR> <div> "I can assure you, Colonel O'Neill, I am here with no strings attached."</div> <bR> <div> Jack looked up quickly at the petite woman standing at the end of the table.  "Sorry, ma'am.  You weren't supposed to hear that."</div> <bR> <div> "Obviously not," she said with a stern look.  "Let's just cut to the chase.  We face a tremendous amount of challenges in our very near future and if we're going to meet them successfully, we all need to be on the same page."</div> <bR> <div> "Not really any way to do that with the gate shut down for three months," Daniel said calmly.  He leveled his gaze at her and waited for her response.</div> <bR> <div> "I'm here to reassess the viability of continuous travel through the gate and the long-term..."</div> <bR> <div> "That is such a load of crap," Daniel said quietly.  All eyes in the room turned toward him.  Jack looked too, but what he saw wasn't what others did.  He saw the pointlessness, the work without satisfaction, the drain, the apathy...he saw the husk of the man that used to be Daniel Jackson.  Something clenched in his chest and wouldn't let go.</div> <bR> <div> "I beg your pardon?" Weir said.</div> <bR> <div> "You have no idea what's going on out there because you've never even so much as stepped into the gate room.  When you've gone out there and put your ass on the line a few hundred times over for the sake of this planet, then you talk to me about viability.  There is an armada on its way here, lead by Anubis, and you want to sit around and have staff meetings?  Let me know how that goes for ya."  Daniel stood from his chair, shoved his papers across the table where they spilled out in front of Weir and headed toward the door.</div> <bR> <div> The shocked faces around the table said more than an hour's worth of meetings.  Weir turned to face Jack.  "You mind explaining that?"</div> <bR> <div> "That," Jack said, "is what this program has come to due to bureaucracy and a level of frustration that reaches right up to the Pentagon."  He pointed at Dr. Weir.  "Who are you, and why are you here, really?"</div> <bR> <div> "She's here because the President wants her here," came Kinsey's voice from the stairwell as the man slowly climbed down into the briefing room.</div> <bR> <div> Jack held Weir's gaze.  "If he's in charge here, you lose both Daniel and me.  You decide how you want this to go down."</div> <bR> <div> Jack made his own path toward the door, letting his shoulder crash into Kinsey's on the way out.  "Sorry, didn't see you there," he snorted.</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> It had been over nine months since Jack had dared approach Daniel's office.  As he did this time he could hear the animated voices behind the door and he recognized one as that whiny-assed Rodney McKay.  Jack opened the door carefully as both men studied a white board in the middle of the room.</div> <bR> <div> "Jack!"  Daniel turned eyes stripped of the impudence he'd demonstrated just moments before.  "You're never going to believe what we think we found."</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> "I just...sit?" Jack asked, his breath clouding in the cold air of the Antarctic dig site.  He remembered the last time being in a cavern on this continent...probably not too awfully far from this place.  Not one of his fonder memories.</div> <bR> <div> "It should activate when it senses the gene, Colonel."  Dr. Carson Beckett was standing very close to him, practically shoving him into the chair.</div> <bR> <div> "Thor <I>knew</I>, Jack.  All that 'superiority' nonsense...this is what he meant.  You're genetically tied to the Ancients and this device should recognize that."</div> <bR> <div> Jack looked into Daniel's eyes, sparkling with the light of discovery.  The sight warmed him where little else had in the past month.</div> <bR> <div> Taking one last look around at the myriad of naquadah reactors daisy chained about him, he sat down and just waited for the explosion.  Instead, the chair lit up, he felt a hum and a tingle shoot through is body, and then he was....<I>in.</I></div> <bR> <div> "Holy shit," he breathed.  His fingertips sunk into the pliable gel of the hand rests and he could feel the chair *waiting* for instructions.</div> <bR> <div> "Alright, listen very carefully," McKay said.  "Concentrate on where we are in the solar system."</div> <bR> <div> Above Jack's head a huge display lit up and began to spin slowly.  "Cool," was all he could manage.</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> It was light and heat and pain and searing joy all melded into one as he watched the enemy ships, one after another, explode in the dark cold of space between earth and the sun.  The drones poured out and Jack controlled them from the sizzling quiet of the control chair.  One after the other after the other they were blown apart until those that remained turned and left, fleeing as the glowing drones bore down upon them, attacking them even as they tried to make their way to hyperspace.</div> <bR> <div> "Jack!"  Daniel's voice was urgent, worried.  "That's all we need, they're gone.  Come on back now.  They're gone."</div> <bR> <div> Jack opened his eyes, blinking the sweat away.  Crazy that he'd be sweating when it was probably well below freezing where he was.  "We clear?"</div> <bR> <div> "Yeah, Mitchell's up taking care of any stragglers," Daniel smiled.  "You did it."</div> <bR> <div> It didn't take much to know what Daniel was feeling in that moment.  "Yeah," Jack grinned.  "Yeah we did."</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> "The point is, we can go there."  Daniel was veritably bouncing on his toes.</div> <bR> <div> Jack looked up into the expectant faces of Weir, McKay and Daniel.  "There's no way Landry's gonna go for this.  That <I>zed</I> thing..."</div> <bR> <div> "ZedPM," McKay filled in helpfully.</div> <bR> <div> "That," Jack said with a roll of his eyes, "is the only thing keeping our visitors at bay right now."</div> <bR> <div> "Jack..."</div> <bR> <div> "Find another way, Daniel."</div> <bR> <div> "There is no other way."</div> <bR> <div> Jack turned and smiled at him.  "One thing I know, Daniel.  With you - anything's possible."</div> <bR> <div> Daniel cocked his head and furrowed his brow.  "Thanks.  I think."</div> <bR> <div> Jack quirked an eyebrow at Weir and made his way to the door.</div> <bR> <div> "Colonel O'Neill," she called, catching up to him.</div> <bR> <div> "Doctor?"</div> <bR> <div> "That pilot that sat down in the chair..."</div> <bR> <div> "Sheppard?"</div> <bR> <div> "Yes, him.  I've asked him to be part of the expedition."</div> <bR> <div> Jack stopped dead in his tracks.  "Are you kidding me?"</div> <bR> <div> Weir shook her head.  "I was hoping you'd talk to him."</div> <bR> <div> "Hey, I'm the last person he's going to listen to."</div> <bR> <div> "I think he'd be quite willing to listen to you - you are very much alike."</div> <bR> <div> "Nice try, Doctor Weir, but my plans are firmly in place.  I won't talk anyone into taking the same route I've taken over these past years."</div> <bR> <div> "Daniel's coming with us, too."</div> <bR> <div> Jack stopped and turned to her.  "What?"</div> <bR> <div> "He put in for the transfer and Landry approved it.  When we find a way to go to Atlantis, he's coming with us."</div> <bR> <div> "You don't need him.  You've got McKay and you read ancient almost as well as Daniel does."</div> <bR> <div> "It's not about need, Colonel.  It's about want," Weir said.</div> <bR> <div> Suddenly Jack was back in a white room with air that was too warm and thick, scratching white linen clothing against his body and the thoughts of another human being inside his head playing like a movie he couldn't shut off.  He remembered the taste of Daniel wanting things so badly he'd do anything at all to get them.  And he knew, <I>knew</I> without a shadow of a doubt that this...expedition to another galaxy would be one of those things.</div> <bR> <div> Jack's tour of duty was coming to an end.  He'd turned down promotion twice...once at the SGC, and once to Homeworld Security.  The Air Force wouldn't ask again.  He had his papers in for retirement.  Now just one thing remained and suddenly Jack was on the brink of losing it before he had a chance to take that first tentative step.</div> <bR> <div> "Where's Sheppard?" he asked.</div> <bR> <div> "I think he went topside, waiting for you."</div> <bR> <div> Jack nodded stiffly and left Weir standing in the middle of the busy room.</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> "Tell me you aren't this much of an idiot," Jack said when he finally found Major John Sheppard going over the helicopter than had brought them to the buried outpost.</div> <bR> <div> Sheppard turned around and looked at him, eyes narrowing.  "Excuse me, sir?"</div> <bR> <div> "Do you have any idea what you're being offered?"</div> <div> "Yeah, the chance to play human light-switch.  I have to give a big 'no thanks' to that one."</div> <bR> <div> "What exactly is your problem, Major?  I've read your record.  You don't have a lot of options."</div> <bR> <div> "Oh I don't know, sir.  You seem to have done alright."</div> <bR> <div> Jack stepped slowly into the man's personal space.  "You know, if I wasn't so close to retirement, I'd beat your ass back into next week."</div> <bR> <div> "Don't let that stop you."  Sheppard smirked and turned away.  "Sir."</div> <bR> <div> "There's not a charter company worth a damn that'll hire you - not with your record."  Jack said, low and serious.  "You'll end up flying sweaty tourists around some volcano, or down the side of the Grand Canyon.  If you're real lucky, you won't get weekly visits from the DEA."</div> <bR> <div> "Then maybe I'll just start my own company," Sheppard threw back over his shoulder as the checked the rear rotors.</div> <bR> <div> "With a credit history like yours and your ex-wife taking most of your pay in alimony, you don't even have a pot to piss in."  Jack watched the man stop in his tracks.  "Oh, I've checked.  Everyone here's checked into your life.  They want you anyway.  They're handing you the opportunity of a lifetime and your shitty attitude will make you screw this up, too.  But hey - your choice."  Jack turned and walked off, the snow crunching underneath his boots.</div> <bR> <div> John Sheppard could hear the sound of his last chance slowly slipping through his fingers.</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> Daniel closed the lid on the container holding the last of his reference books.  He was startled to see Jack leaning casually in the door, hands in his pockets, a small smile on his face.  "So.  Atlantis."</div> <bR> <div> Daniel nodded.  "Looks like we're really going."</div> <bR> <div> "If the gate gets a lock."</div> <bR> <div> "Right."</div> <bR> <div> "So, probably your last night on Earth."</div> <bR> <div> "Probably."</div> <bR> <div> Jack took a long breath and let it out.  "How about I buy you dinner."</div> <bR> <div> "I was actually just going to work through..."</div> <bR> <div> Jack merely looked at Daniel who smiled weakly in return.  "I've been packed for a month.  There's really nothing else for me to do, I suppose."</div> <bR> <div> "Didn't think so."  Jack nodded toward the elevator and stepped aside to let Daniel pass.</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> The quiet warmth of a mid-September night surrounded them as they took their seats at an outdoor table.  They'd decided on Italian and the restaurant was small and family run.  It was the middle of the week and few patrons were out for dinner, leaving the patio empty.</div> <bR> <div> "Nice," Daniel said appreciatively as he looked out over the last rays of sun on the tops of the mountains.</div> <bR> <div> "It's been a year, Daniel.  I think it's time we had that conversation."</div> <bR> <div> "I don't really think there's much to say.  You were right, I took advantage of what I learned from the time we were held and that was wrong of me."</div> <bR> <div> "Well yes, you were," Jack said with just a hint of amusement.  "But there are a few issues I want to settle and with tomorrow pretty much ... we might not have this chance again."</div> <bR> <div> "Jack..."</div> <bR> <div> "You know how I feel," Jack said, cutting Daniel off.  "I'm not going to try and convince you that's changed.  I know how you feel.  I don't think that's changed either."</div> <bR> <div> "No," Daniel said with a small blush as he took a long drink of water.</div> <bR> <div> "Then what I would like," Jack said quietly, "is for tonight to be about us.  Not the program, not the expedition.  Just us."</div> <bR> <div> Daniel's gaze was more appraising than anything else.  "Why the turnaround?"</div> <bR> <div> "I think maybe I was so focused on the fact that you'd been in my head, that I lost sight of the fact that at least it was <I>you</I> and not someone else."  Jack fiddled with the basket of bread sticks in front of him.</div> <bR> <div> "I never judged you for what I saw."</div> <bR> <div> "I know you didn't.  I hope you know that I tried to extend you that same courtesy."</div> <bR> <div> "I ... I never really thought about it, actually.  I guess it never occurred to me that you might."</div> <bR> <div> "Good," Jack said, holding back a smile.</div> <bR> <div> "I'm not sleeping with you, Jack."</div> <bR> <div> Jack's smile got a little bigger.  "No?"</div> <bR> <div> "No," Daniel said, his voice matter of fact.</div> <bR> <div> Jack merely quirked an eyebrow at him and Daniel felt a jolt go through his body like he'd been hit by the current from a naquadah reactor.</div> <bR> <div> "We ready to order, then?" Jack asked as he saw the waiter step outside.</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> "Jack."</div> <bR> <div> "Coffee's in here, Daniel."  Jack left the front door open.</div> <bR> <div> "I'm not...dammit, Jack, you can't expect me to do this."</div> <bR> <div> "Coffee, Daniel."</div> <bR> <div> "It's not just coffee and you know it.  I have my cell, I'll just call a cab."</div> <bR> <div> "I'm going on the expedition."  Jack's voice drifted outside to where Daniel was flipping open his phone.</div> <bR> <div> "You're what?"</div> <bR> <div> "I'm going.  Sheppard's going, I'm going, Sumner's going, MacKay's going.  Hell, even you're going."</div> <bR> <div> Jack smiled when he heard the slamming of the front door.</div> <bR> <div> "You're going."</div> <bR> <div> "Yep."</div> <bR> <div> "To Atlantis."</div> <bR> <div> "If we can get a lock.  Yes.  I am."</div> <bR> <div> "And you didn't think to tell me this before?"</div> <bR> <div> "Just got word today."</div> <bR> <div> "You're going."</div> <bR> <div> "I believe we've covered this."</div> <bR> <div> Daniel gripped Jack's arm and spun him around.  "Why didn't you say something sooner?"</div> <bR> <div> Jack stood quietly, looking at the man in front of him.  "I wanted you to have to make the same decision I did.  I needed you to understand."</div> <bR> <div> "I did understand."</div> <bR> <div> "Not like you do now," Jack said.  "Being in my head wasn't enough.  Knowing the things you knew wasn't enough because you never had to live the choices, never had to wake up every morning and feel the weight.  Hammond buckled under what the weight of all of it.  Look what it did to him.  He never deserved that.  You and I, we may not have buckled, but we sure as hell are bent and I needed you to know..."</div> <bR> <div> "What it was like being you."</div> <bR> <div> "Yeah, something like that."</div> <bR> <div> "We still can't do anything," Daniel said, his eyes clear and bright and sharp.</div> <bR> <div> "I'm also retired.  It was the contingency of me going.  They had to expedite my processing."</div> <bR> <div> It took Daniel a second or two to catch up.  "You...?"</div> <bR> <div> "After the battle, after we chased off Anubis and the Goa'uld, when we found out Sheppard had the gene as strong as I do, I had a little talk with the good Major."</div> <bR> <div> "That must have been spectacular."</div> <bR> <div> "I told him he was an idiot for even considering not going."</div> <bR> <div> "Really, you called him an idiot?  Imagine that."</div> <bR> <div> Jack scowled.  "When the universe holds out its hand, it's impolite not to dance with her.  She'll kick your ass otherwise."</div> <bR> <div> "So you're going."</div> <bR> <div> "Yes.  As a consultant and liaison."</div> <bR> <div> "Sumner's in charge?"</div> <bR> <div> "Weir's in charge, you're her second, Sumner's military commander, Sheppard's his second.  I'm just along to keep you out of trouble."</div> <bR> <div> "Because that's worked so well in the past."</div> <bR> <div> "Do you want coffee or not?" Jack groused.</div> <bR> <div> "Not."  Daniel suddenly looked around him.  "Where's your stuff?"</div> <bR> <div> "Gone.  Hank's taking the house on Monday."</div> <bR> <div> "You still have a bed?"</div> <bR> <div> "No.  I was thinking one last night in a luxury hotel might work."</div> <bR> <div> Daniel grabbed Jack by the front of the shirt and dragged him bodily from the house.</div> <bR> <div> ++++</div> <bR> <div> The sky was turning a soft pink as Jack pushed into Daniel for the first time, sweat and lube mixing in the sheets as both men struggled to maintain control.  Jack had been patient, careful, the borrowed memory of Daniel's true first time with his much older college professor weighing in his mind, setting a standard that he was hard-pressed to exceed.  Velvety heat surrounded him, liquid glide eased his way deep, deeper, deepest until his was as far in as humanly possible.  He clenched and tightened and <I>pushed</I> and held and breathed and it was everything he could do not to thrust and take and own.</div> <bR> <div> Daniel panted and gasped beneath him, heat blossoming over his body in waves.  "Oh god," he whispered in a chocked sob, "oh god."  He forced a hand underneath himself, back behind his balls to the soft stretch of skin leading to his ass.  Jack felt pressure as Daniel's long fingers pushed at the skin and an achingly needy moan escaped into the thin light of the room.</div> <bR> <div> One small thrust, slowly out and even slower in, was all it took to tumble Daniel over the edge.  Jack felt the rippling spasms all around him as Daniel shot hard and long into the sheets and blankets and pillows beneath his hips, his cries of ecstacy muffled into the bedding.  "Come inside me, Jack."</div> <bR> <div> And that did it for Jack as his body unleashed an orgasm that was almost painful, hips jerking as he emptied himself deep into Daniel.  When it was over, Jack laced their fingers together and fell asleep, buried inside the one person he trusted and loved more than anyone else in his life.</div> <bR> <div> Full morning came far to quickly for either of them.  They cleaned up and dressed in silence, neither speaking of the possible dangers or perils the day may bring.  Daniel stopped them before they opened the door to leave, anchoring him with a kiss like one of the many they'd shared the night before, full of affection and desire and passion.  Jack smiled when Daniel finally let him go.</div> <bR> <div> "Back on that planet," Daniel said quietly, "I wanted nothing more than to shut you out, block you from seeing all the dark things I have inside me, keep you from seeing all the dirty things there are in there, seeing who I really am.  Now - I wish I could go back and let you in again just so you can feel what I feel at this moment."</div> <bR> <div> "Probably the same thing I am," Jack smiled.  "There was no way I was letting you go out there without me.  Didn't need a night like we had last night to know that.  Or two weeks in an alien prison."</div> <bR> <div> "You ready to go save the universe one more time?"</div> <bR> <div> "Just like the good ol' days," Jack said as he followed Daniel out the door and into an uncertain future.</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> ~finis~</div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="mailto:claforce@plotexpo.com" TARGET="_top" TITLE="mailto:claforce@plotexpo.com"><U>Give the author's ego a marshmallow . . . please feed the bear.</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id3_sg1_slash.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Stargate SG1 Slash Fiction"><U>Back to Fic List</U></A>     <A HREF="id2_directory.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Directory Listing"><U>Back to Directory</U></A></div> </td> <td valign="top" rowspan="2" width=120 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="01178643.jpg"> <bR> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" height=52 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="00f64643.jpg"> <div> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="0" CELLSPACING="0" WIDTH="161" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=CENTER HEIGHT= 45 ><NOBR><div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="39" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" WIDTH="29"></div> </NOBR></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP><NOBR><div> <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Plotexpo.com"><U><IMG SRC="0181d270.jpg" border=0 width="29" height="39" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></U></A></div> </NOBR></tD> <tD VALIGN=CENTER WIDTH="15"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="45" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="15" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></tD> <tD VALIGN=CENTER><NOBR><div> <A HREF="id206.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="ReEvaluation"><U><IMG SRC="017271d0.jpg" border=0 width="39" height="29" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></U></A></div> </NOBR></tD> <tD VALIGN=CENTER><NOBR><div> <A HREF="id210.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Regret"><U><IMG SRC="016271d0.jpg" border=0 width="39" height="29" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></U></A></div> </NOBR></tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <bR> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>